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Post by isthisamo on Apr 18, 2021 13:20:27 GMT
sorry boss and bosschin! i uhh... just remember i gotta go! got to uh. work. eh. busy stef! makin the company the munz bows!! take care! true, but they're all teh UMC's. they gave 'em to 'em. well! our needs are important! THULE! exactly! i know if i was klein and falcontown i'd be a bit suspicious of any claims!! SEVEN FILLED DESCRIPTION!@#! STAT! BUT LONG! STAT AS IN START NOW, BUT THEN DO THE THING LONG AND PAINFUL! sure seems like that is what it will be, yes! they've been gone for months! that's like decades in this universen!@# i'm just reporting on teh space future! space is very tubey!! whaddaya gonna do!? describe and love tubes! that's what! it's not as much blue, but it is pretty staff tho! you got me! i was thinking he was maybe going for N W S E and then like, eh up and down maybe. and eh, then time is the seventh?! :yes: :bowdown: *draws a head you should be good brother! you should be. i think you more or less nailed with your first guess there. i think. i'm not looking it up AGAIN! and i already forgot cuz it's a stupid word i won't ever need for anything ever! if i'm not back in 1 year, just wait longer!! TIA!! yes!! i was like, sweet! grego!! and then that was horrible too! not the best chapter! and it's practically the last one! yes!! also, they're going excuse me? and she's like, DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME!@# and leaves, with actual leaves! one last thing! at the end of the chapter she makes her ship and it's like an arrow and then, "It had veins and ridges..." of course it did! how else would a kira ship look like?! anyway, so NEXT!! Exeunt VI EXEUNT DUNNO!@#! so it's a short exunt. another peptalk from falcontown. she's gonna be alone. for reals. i found some things confusing. she's talking about eradicating the maws and stuff and if she could do it fast then maybe she could come home but then, "No. What was done was done. There was no going back, no point regretting the choices she had made..." blah blah. i don't really understand this. i guess cuz she's decided she has to seed teh universen with life? so going back would be abandoning that plan? what the hell was the ship in FTL flyby that said family is alive? was that the wallfish? eh, i don't get it. and she sleeps! so there are like 4 appendix addendums or whatever. i've looked at the first two. i don't think i have it in me brother. it's like a bunch of explanations of crap that doesn't matter because the book is over!!
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 19, 2021 0:24:26 GMT
kirastation: do not worry *flowerpetals* i have surveyed the universe and all badness has been eradicated. klein: yeah.. if you don't mind we're gonna just check it out. i mean, i see a nightmare ship literally right behind you. kirastation: OH? oh yes *turns it to dust* perhaps i missed that one but the rest are all dust not to worry... falcontown: it's just that you've been confident before..... yes please do not confuse my request for STAT as a request to abbreviate your seven filled descriptions in any way!@#$@#$@ might as well not even GO back it's been so long! also i'm trying to read the appendix on FTL and crap. i am trying brother. ugh. ;meltface;;; exactly! so you see the benefits then. also it will provide one red grape thing every day. so you will never die. i mean. you'll be STARVINGLY hungry don't get me wrong. but you'll live. in agony. you're welcome. *wallperfumedecends* CAPTAIN! HEAD NW AT 2.3 CLICKS PER SECOND!! what did you say to me navigator? NW IS NOT A DIRECTION!@#$ GET OFF MY SHIP!@# *TWAK* so giving people gifts you've grown from urself is a session and when it's over the session decessions? got it!! with actual leaves she is SO enjoying being her new leaf producing self!@#$@#$ veins and ridges and bulges and cylinders and shoots white exhaust out of it's shard TIP!! :hyper;; brother. i has no idea. BROTHER I HAVE NO IDEA!? are we supposed to assume it's teh wallfish? nothing else really makes sense, tho i'm not sure that does either!@# it sounded like she'd been oot and aboot in teh galaxy for a long time by then!@# how the f would they even find her1@#$@#$@#@#$@#$ LMAO BUT BROTHER HOW WILL WE KNOW HOW FTL WORKS IN THIS MADE UP UNIVERSE@@$#@#@#$@#$@# i started the ftl one. i'm just like... wait. is there going to be a test on this? *there's like a glossary and stuff* ehhh... ALSO THE BOOK LITERALLY ENDS ON THE WORDS "TO SLEEP IN A SEA OF STARS". GTFO!@#$@#$$@#
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Post by isthisamo on Apr 19, 2021 3:24:02 GMT
kirastation: do not worry *flowerpetals* i have surveyed the universe and all badness has been eradicated. klein: yeah.. if you don't mind we're gonna just check it out. i mean, i see a nightmare ship literally right behind you. kirastation: OH? oh yes *turns it to dust* perhaps i missed that one but the rest are all dust not to worry... falcontown: it's just that you've been confident before..... BUT I AM SUPER SEEDKIRA NOW!@# NO MORE DOUBT! OR DISAPPOINTMENT!! *flowers and perfume and rustling* i think that is one of the main points of the game, from what i've gathered. i know I gave up! i read a little of whatever the first one was, FTL i assume. and then i skipped to the next one, whatever that one was and i was just self! i don't see how reading this could be spicy or good in anyway! more like sticking your head in a meat grinder with less death and more pain! i almost forgot about the feeding! seemed so random and thrown in. OH MAN!@#! THANK YOU SO MUCH KIRATHING~!@#! U R THE BEST I LOVE STAFF BERRIES!! sorry cap. how about up?! is that a direction?
I SAID OFF MY SHIP!@#!@# MY CHIN DIDN'T COUNTER MY COMMAND DID IT?!
READERS!! this gift giving session will end eventually!@# i had a feeling you'd be worried so it is a chapter title tip!! man! if we had known wad that word was and meant that would have been a huge relief!! well, she doesn't have a lot of other stuff going on i guess! somehow i knew this was what it was going to be as soon as the author said she was gonna make a ship! i was like, oh boy!! here we go! YOU THINK THE UMC SHIPS ARE COCKLIKE!!! wait till you get aload of this veiny kira badboy!@#! whoo!@# *her ship weapons are seed goo* i guess you only know your love for this chapter, book, and book ending! that's clear!! i guess they used the green staff good. ol tigor ate all his grapes and studied that staff real good cuz he didn't need to eat!! i just feel like it was a bit presumptuous of the author to think all us readers were going to want all these detilas!! if there are people who want that; man, i do not want to meet them! or meat them! well, maybe i'd meat them, BUT THAT'S ITT!! how else would it end? i was starting to see as we were wrapping up this badboy that this book was going to have a vast and yee very unsatisfying ending! and boy, did the author deliver on THAT front!! whoo!@ more than i had imagined!!
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 19, 2021 14:01:23 GMT
BUT I AM SUPER SEEDKIRA NOW!@# NO MORE DOUBT! OR DISAPPOINTMENT!! *flowers and perfume and rustling* exactly! *falconi has his helmet on and can't even smell the perfume* :B *flower petals* anyway, as i was saying, the universe is safe and this station is unity and... wait. hold up. i just remembered something. there are 7 very angry mawshards scattered throughout the universe with no way for anyone to find them. *perfume rustle* and they are intent on consuming everything in their path and growing into a giant malignant universe boil. but like i said not to worry. i will go eradicate them. you know, somehow. *rustle leaves* *grows lots of staffs and staff berries and things* *you know, to eat* i think the full name of the game is Sevens No Abbreviations Allowed. but everyone just abbreviates it to sevens. it's so dumb! read a couple more FTL pages. he does explain the necessity of cryo due to heat reasons. cuz ur in a FTL Bubble Mirror! so no heat can escape or something. but, it's like he couldn't think of a way to jam the explanation into the actual book so now there's a made up science lesson in the back instead?? WTF!@#$ who doesn't love popping a swollen red staff berry into their mouf every day!@# *chin jerks wildly and laughs* IF ONLY!@#$ *she starts giving hugegangbang some machine fixing box* OMG THIS IS NEVER GONNA END IS IT!@# are we stuck in an infinite loop of reading these thuleforsaken gifts! OH FUCK I JUST NOW REMEMBERED THE FUCKING SEEKER MIND TOWNING THING IS OUT THERE TOO!@#@$##@$#$ JESUS MF THULE THE UNIVERSE IS SO NOT SAVED!@#$$@## self, umm, i guess i could make another river or something. SEEDGOO!@# OF COURSE!@# it's her main defense!@# SHIP OF VEINS AND BULGE, FIRE SEED GOO POST HASTE!@# *splat* *the enemy ship turns into leaf perfume* boy, not worrying about food made trig REALLY smart! he didn't strike me as a real sciency kinda guy! but! he found kira i guess! :/ i may lead them via green arrows into a vinefilled towning room and shoot them with seed goo. BUT THAT'S IT! NO TALKING!@#$ ;stuburn; *hardly any of the chapter titles are coherent or make any sense at all* *he ends the book with the literal book title words* :B fast forward REALLLYYYY far into the future. like, 50 or 60 years and it is just teeming with seekers and nightmares and maws and things. unity is in a civil war and all mangled and towned. seedkira: DUN WORRY EYE GOT THIS!@# ;ballhands;
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Post by isthisamo on Apr 21, 2021 5:52:56 GMT
*falconi has his helmet on and can't even smell the perfume* :B why take it off if there are no towning times coming! well, see you later. you all with either be totally towned in teh future or i will and maybe you will find out at that future time that it happens! toodaloo! *rustle perfume riverflow* i wonder if that irritates the original game maker or maybe he started it as some sort of weird irony. :shrug: also, i feel like that part was already explained! poorly and weirdly late in the book, but it was nonetheless. whatever. i'm out! again, good point. NO ONE WOULD TURN THAT DOWN!@! berries! swollen~! from staff! ALL GOOD! what's he doing now!!?? the captain has no control over his chin at all! and it mocks him! that should be what kira says but instead she says nothing and just *rustles some leaves* and heads out to sleep in the stars. TAKE CARE EVERYONE! I KNOW I WILL!@#! *river flows* *staffs grow* rivers are nice.. oh! i know! i'll make some more staffs and rods and things! :hyper: well, at least it sounds effective!! it is the only explanation i have!! unless it was the seeker! maybe he's just messing with he! they're actually dead! yes! i have my limits!@# and they are somewhere after things being covered in seedgoo!! that's one thing about this author. he's both dropping useless foreshadowing AND being completely random and dropping plot threads right and left! i suppose any humans left are just weird half human half nightmare gross things that the seeker keeps around as toys! *makes leaves and goo* *sleeps* *waits for all teh universe thanks*
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 21, 2021 13:15:14 GMT
why take it off if there are no towning times coming! can't make that assumption in unitykiraville! never know when a vine reacharound might be coming your way! *unityseed absorbs all the seed instantly* *comes back with a rustle* ok well i cleared the universe of all six mawshards you're welcome! *perfume river leaf rustle vinetown* um, kira,... not to sound unappreciative, but weren't there 7 shards? *perturbed rustling* thule dammit ehh... and a seeker. *ANGRY LEAF SHOWER* *eats my one daily staffberry* COULDN'T JUST HAVE MY STAFF GROW A NICE DAILY TBONE EH!@#$ *chin snickers* of course i do! look at him! he's a fucking clown show!@#$@ captain: *pea* now that is a book ending! teh rivers they flows and the staffs they grows ya know? *everyone reading nods in agreeance* we DO know fine author. we do. perfect! of course she will! niiiice and bumpy moooannn and groooooannnn yoooaaarrrrr ffaaammiilyyyy isss alliiiiiiveeeahhhhhh i guess that's how i imagine the seeker talks. *kira smiles and thinks how grego has gotten even weirder* ;crazy; WELL DUH! SEEDGOO IS MY LIFE PURPOSE NOW!@#$@#$ *seeker touches their gross haid* toy! fetch me a goblet of something cool and refreshing. oh man, these thanks are taking a while! THEY MUST BE VAST AND YEE FOR IT TO TAKE SO MUCH PREPARATION!@#$@# ;ooby;;;
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Post by isthisamo on Apr 22, 2021 0:39:08 GMT
can't make that assumption in unitykiraville! never know when a vine reacharound might be coming your way! *unityseed absorbs all the seed instantly* OH! SEED! that's my thing! *adds to seed self falcontown: i could get used to this! you got like a lazy river arounf here!? *squirts water and seed out of her river and leaves again couldn't this berry be a nice huge tube berry!@? i guess that is also a request tig could have made. A CLOWN!@# WHY I OUTA!! *starts choking on chin* *you can't choke a chin* :B right! end with the kira we know and hate!! this space station is nice and all, but it's missing something... ... *lightbulb* OH!@ RIGHT!~ *huge bulgy veiny knobby staffs start growing out of the walls and floors everywhere* ahhh, reminds me of home. i guess i hadn't really thought of how the seeker might talk! i would think kind of snake like. very hissy. but that's fine too. sssss. ur famleesssss eesssss livvssss! wow. that seeker sure is horrible! and it is now always step 1. ow! yes suh. i better sleep extra snuggly and good for more vast and yee thanks prep!! *snuggles up to the staffs all arounf her* *her ship shoots some goo*
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 22, 2021 13:08:48 GMT
OH! SEED! that's my thing! *adds to seed self falcontown: i could get used to this! you got like a lazy river arounf here!? uh, of course i do!! ;usehaid; *falconi floats down the lazy river and eats staffberries* her leaves can squirt water? *ba dum tiss* i likes my staff food to be bigger and preferably tubier!@#$ ;cussing; can't wait til a new berry grows tomorrow i'm fucking starving!@#$$#@@$# chin: ;hugerolleyes; ;jerkit; klein and lphet: pst, is she trying to make the nightmares comfortable here? *they can barely walk down the hall as they try to dodge all the protruding bulgeveinstaffs* like a gollum ghost!@#$ seems like a pretty good life she has carved out for herself! ;dunno;
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Post by isthisamo on Apr 23, 2021 1:27:29 GMT
uh, of course i do!! ;usehaid; *falconi floats down the lazy river and eats staffberries* now who's carved out a life! also, hey, while you go sleep town the nightmares to death. could you leave back like a reacharound version of your shipself here for when i take a break for lazy rivering?! TIA!! i would think they can. i mean, she can do anything she wants apparently! trig!~@ now that you have ur sweet staff berries ship food is off limits to you!@ i guess that was falontown from his riverlife that's pretty much all it does! *give more jerk orders to the ship people just this way to the conference meeting room. follow the green "arrows". ok, have a seat and we'll begin discussions. *all the chairs are just huge veiny cocks if yous ever wakeses u'll see how towned is everything yessss, my sssleeepy presssioussss. ooof true enough. seems like she'll forget all about the nightmares. or maybe she'll find them slowly but they are no match for her new embracing of teh goo self! like she just waltzes up and goos the new maw and it's over and sends out the code to that maws ships. bam, more staff snuggle time.
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 23, 2021 13:18:34 GMT
now who's carved out a life! also, hey, while you go sleep town the nightmares to death. could you leave back like a reacharound version of your shipself here for when i take a break for lazy rivering?! TIA!! sorry my sweet *petals rain down* falcontown, that job will now fall to either qwon or dr. carr. i have heard good things about jelly tentacletugs so i wouldn't worry. ok bye now. *perfume river leaf rustle* *she can do anything she wants* *she makes leaves that squirt water and veiny ships that squirt seed* if he doesn't want tentacle townings maybe he goes back to captaining the wallfish. and if so, not wasting precious ship rations on someone who doesn't need them is just good captaining!@# SORY TRIG! REALLY UR THE LUCKY ONE! U GOT THAT SWEET STAFF OF GREEN!! ;usehaid; (everyone thinks to themselves how lucky they are not to have gotten a staffgift) now i'm thinking about the horrible south park gifs i posted in that other thread. here, you steer by placing this steering cock in your mouth. i wonder if any of the mawshards know where the other mawshards went? are they all clueless too? probably. :B
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Post by isthisamo on Apr 25, 2021 2:12:40 GMT
sorry my sweet *petals rain down* falcontown, that job will now fall to either qwon or dr. carr. i have heard good things about jelly tentacletugs so i wouldn't worry. ok bye now. *perfume river leaf rustle* tentacletugs you say huh?! don't sound too bad! alright. you have a nice sleeplife there kirathingiusedtotown. i don't really see what else she WOULD do, quite frankly. boy are we all jealous! whoo. aren't we guys? oh yeah! totally! so so jealous. hugegangbang: *fighting i'm sure that IS how you steer this ship if you aren't just actually the ship! good call. how would they know? but i don't know. maybe.
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 25, 2021 17:05:34 GMT
tentacletugs you say huh?! don't sound too bad! alright. you have a nice sleeplife there kirathingiusedtotown. *settles into river of tentacles and tugs* she is a xenobiologist after all. lmao you got me with whanghuge!@#$ OF COURSE SHE SAYS FIGHTING! *trig assumes she means she would totally fight for the sTaff oF gReen BIGTIME!@#$* all pilots who aren't the ship, listen up! insert this HERE to keep you locked into the cockpit and now suck on this HERE for intuitive ship steering!@# like, did they all just fly in opposite directions? maybe they all ended up in the same place! they're just stupid shards! *teh maw tells them to head on out and not to tell it where they're going* OWE KAY BOWZ!!@# *they all go sit arounf together on some moon* HAY ANEE UV U GUYZ UP FER A GAYME UV SEVUNZ? :B
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Post by isthisamo on Apr 26, 2021 5:19:46 GMT
*settles into river of tentacles and tugs* as long as they aren't trying to kill you and rip you apart tentacles aren't so bad! -- falcontown getting tentacle reach arounds trig holds it extra close to his person. people are disconcerted at thoughts of what he does with his staff in private. trig: you wanna hold my sweet green staff? boy, that sure is tempting fine trig who's not dead. but i'm gonna pass buddy. thanks!! BOY! WHOEVER DESIGNED THIS SHIP IS A GENIUS!@#!@ i guess that is somebody who liked kira's sweet cock steering system. yes!! i'll make the cards!! one of teh horrible maws makes cards and they're all oozy and have tentacles and boils and are gross. boy! these sure are hard to shuffle!!
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 26, 2021 13:17:59 GMT
as long as they aren't trying to kill you and rip you apart tentacles aren't so bad! -- falcontown getting tentacle reach arounds kwon and carr: yeah, maybe you should take your sTaFf oF gReEn to your room. and, you know, hug it there. and eat it's berry. or whatever you do with it. in your room. privately. out of our view. now, when you want the ship to shoot it's goo weapon, you have to stroke this firing rod vigorously! probably goes without saying, but we want to make sure you've been trained thoroughly. *squish slosh oozeshuffle* just some mawshards playin mawcards!@# maybe to shuffle you just have to tost them into a big pile or mixing bowl or something. and toss them like the worst salad evar.
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Post by isthisamo on Apr 28, 2021 1:39:07 GMT
kwon and carr: OH GREAT KWON AND CARR!! i leave you in charge. your main duty is to perform any and all tentacle reach arounds deftly and with great care! also, kwon makes me think of kramer. nah! this is no good. you need a medical dictionary! YOU KNOW! TO KWON SOMEONE! FINE!@# MAYBE I WILL!@# storms off to his room. he's in there A LOT! well, he was super excited by his kira gift. i didn't realize why at the time! yes sir! maam! commencing practice post haste!! oh, that makes good sense! alright, everyone grab seven oozemawcards out of the oozemawcardstossingbowl. ok. now, eh. i think we tell stories or something. we don't have any stories! we've just been sitting out here in space! what about that time we flew through space to here! oooo. that's good. i bet that story! wad is bet? ... we can leave these maws to their game now i think.
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 28, 2021 13:36:45 GMT
OH GREAT KWON AND CARR!! i leave you in charge. your main duty is to perform any and all tentacle reach arounds deftly and with great care! also, kwon makes me think of kramer. nah! this is no good. you need a medical dictionary! YOU KNOW! TO KWON SOMEONE! kramer as a Wranaui tentacle reach around space station! interesting... *he comes out of his room a few days later all scraggly and dazed* *also berry fed but hungry* ;usehaid; GAH! NOT NOW PRIVATE!!!@# THAT GOO IS A DANGEROUS WEAPON!@# YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T SEND YOUR ASS BACK TO BASIC!!!@# that is amazing. ahh... um, memba that time we wuz gooey and oozy! EYE BET THUT! THAT'S ALL THE TIME! ;twak: *the maw shards all twak each other with oozy tentacles*
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Post by isthisamo on Apr 29, 2021 5:27:29 GMT
kramer as a Wranaui tentacle reach around space station! interesting... that reach around was fast and furious! but, strangely delightful! i feel like i shouldn't have loved that, but i did! he could go for a cigarette at least! *sits at the breakroom place whatever they called that, and looks like he hasn't slept in days and is all crusty and his hair is crazy and he's smoking and sipping on back coffee and just staring into space it's like you're mixing in our NEW book! HOOAAHH!@!@ well! it still happened!@# :grosstentacleoozetwak: i bet the time when oozemawshard4 just slapped oozemawshardme with his ooey gooey tentacle! ... hey, are these cards supposed to have numbers on them or something? mine just has ooze and gooz?
OOHH! i bet the time when oozemawshard7 didn't know how to play oozygoozysevenz!!!
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 29, 2021 14:55:21 GMT
he could go for a cigarette at least! *sits at the breakroom place whatever they called that, and looks like he hasn't slept in days and is all crusty and his hair is crazy and he's smoking and sipping on back coffee and just staring into space yes! you filled in the details nicely. maybe now people ARE wishing they'd gotten the Staff of Green gift!@# GAH!@# ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID KNIFE!@#$@$# ;mad; oh jeez. i have to aplogive in advance for this, but this made me think: "more like GOO-AHH! amirite?" ;yesnicker; i'll show myself out. they're just oozemawshards1 through 7! wait, duz eye has a seven? did i win? I CALL! can i call? ;ballhands; I BET THE TIME HE TRIED TO CALL!@# EYE CALL THIS GAME OOZEMAWSHARDSEVENS!@# that's what we ALL call it oozemawshard4!!@# *twak* *this goes on for years and years*
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Post by isthisamo on Apr 30, 2021 2:10:17 GMT
just noticed this typo. ew! if i do that with this knife it will not be NEARLY as enjoyable!@# ... i'm pretty sure... *heads to room oof. to be fare, i'm pretty sure i brought that on myself. and the thing i brought on myself is really gross goo! of course it goes on for years. i don't see how it would stop. i feel like this is not what mammaoozemaw had in mind when she sent her 7 mawshards out into teh universe!!
go my shards! u are great and will fill teh universen!!
*they just go to one little corner and play oozemawshardsevens *there's no sevens :B
oozemawshard3: who has a seven!!?? oh!@ i bet when we all didn't have teh sevens!!! CALL!!
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 30, 2021 14:35:33 GMT
just noticed this typo. ew! back coffee is definitely one of the flavors i shy away from! i mean, you have to at least TRY! it's a kira gift after all, maybe the knife turns into some sweet gooey towning... thing! also the fact that it's usually a knife adds that danger element that's so titillating!!@# maybe we should reshuffle the deck. :B *tosses giant pile of gooey tentacles and scabby scrotum cups and things arounf* EYE BET THIZ TYME RUT NOW!@# WE HAVEN'T EVEN DEALT THE CARDS YET!@# CALL!@#$@$#$@#gah!#$@#$# man, this is way more entertaining than the actual sevens game crap he typed up!@#$#@$$#@
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