EYES OF TEH VOID FINAL ARKIREKTSHUR by Adrian Tchaikovsky

well! they saveses us! :stuburn:

and they got masters of some sort that we don't even know where they is at or wad they is or nothin! but they would seem to be teh key to everything.

GET YA CHOWDA HEEUURRAAHH!!!


yeah, i think that's how it works! seems unfair.



this doesn't really seem like anything. really. :B too bad he couldn't be hasing partheni orgies!! that seems like the thing to do there. :dunno:


you know how everyone says this sucks? well, it does. even worser than you think!


i guess so. seems like the defecting idea isn't too bad for them. :dunno: but maybe partheni dun do thet.


i hasn't read this intinestine.

:dunno: man! i really want some unspeakable chowder! i bet that's amazing. have to have it made by a good cook. old clams are hard to get tender!



it is?! i think ur farther than me still! or, eh. i dun remember. i know i read about them anazlying their brains or something including idris's while they're unspacing. :dunno:


i kind of think most of the idris hate is in his head. i imagine these partheni are just surly. especially after being chosen for the super sweet int program!


also, based on idris's experience. might not be that great of a place to hang out! if ur not a tubelady. :dunno: i guess it's better than death. barely. :B

let's see... how far has i gotted?


i have read this. not much to add. *sweet sweet booko club*
she SMOKED HIS ASS!@! WHOOO!@ wait, did she fight a man or a woman? i don't know if it said. i think he was called morbin or something which sounds manish to me. anyway. lawyering in this future is weird. but then again, everythinig is weird here.


i tend to believe idris since i'm not sure these other folks have any real data or science to back them up. other than maybe the group that actually made idris might know a little i guess. but it seemed like there was a lot of failing to get a success.


JFC!!! i need to get some read on!!@# :jkgay:

you call this chowder unspeakable? MORE LIKE UNCHEWABLE!@#$@#$


MOM, HE PUT HIS SHARD ON MY SIDE OF THE SEAT!@#$@#$


well that's part of the problem! idris doesn't want chosen people, they have to do it of their own free will OR HE'S OUT!@# I WONT' BE A PART OF MAKING ANYONE DO THIS SHIT WHO DOESNT' SIGN UP FOR IT VOLUNTARILY!@#$ *partheys don't really grasp the concept of voluntarily*


also the cage lady never made it anyway, so no worries


pretty sure it was a dude, yeah. this was a long time ago for me now....


yeah the success rate was ntg. so they started using inmates and shit cuz its like ahhh most of them will die anyway who cares.


;dunno;


ch 6: Olli
Ehh.. they leave and chat a bit. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ headed back to parthiville.

Havaer
gets back to mordant house and there's a new dude as chief. He lies to him and his old bowz sends secret msg! Intrigue! Suspense!!

Solace
trine invitese them to arc pallator, where and architect is waiting to rekt it but it has to dismantle a big originator city first ;hyper;;

ALL RISE FOR HIS EMINENCE, AKLU THE LONGCHEWABLE RAZOR AND HOOK!@#$ *a hush falls over the chewing croud*


jeez the crystal moons are riding in a bigger crystal space car!? THAT CRYSTAL CAR IS THE SIZE OF A PLANET! still not enough room for the kids not to fight in the back seat tho!


oh? ;leer;
parthenis: smh ;nono; ;hugerolleyes; maybe a ;twak; in there too

HEY! ALL US GUYS WUZ THINKIN IT!!@##


*quickly flamethrows scorpionlady #2 into some bbq*


andor is the highest quality of all the low quality sausage and cheeses! also no i hasn't wetched.


apparently!

PART 2: ARC PALLATOR (clamville)
ch 7: Idris
Not sure there was ever much question that idris was going to pallator. i mean the author kinda dances arounf it but it is obvs that is where the story is headed. HELL THERE'S A REKT JUST HANGING OUT BY A CLAMPLANET!@# OF COURSE WE'RE GOING THERE@@#$$#@#@$

*trine acts like a bat during unspace sleeptime*
Olli: that bug farm needs an off switch

so, they are at clamville now. and idris sees another int from way back in teh day and he is less than plussed!


ch 8: Idris in clamvill
so they go down to clamityville and check owt the originator city thing or whatever it is, as the arkirekt is busily rekting it away with crystal creatures it poops down onto the planet. the clams don't seem to perturbed by the whole scenario as they aren't evacuating anyone or doing much of anything at all it would seem!@# other than being their fine excellent clam selves. idris says teh ruins like, sit on unspace or pull on it or touch it or something. ;dunno; :B

well i doubt they're all immortal! i bet chewing is involved in their reproductive process somehow.


holy shit that's totally true! ;haidsplode;


smh tbh! guys hear "all those twin chicks wanna do is twak" and they're all TWAK? IS THAT A EUPHEMISM? ;HYPE;;;; OMFFHGHGHGH

*it isn't* *they punch and shoot things and stuff and have zero fun*


all the more reason to quickBBQ scorpchick #2! THREE ALIVE IN THE SAME BOOK WOULD BE ABSURD!@#$


have you finished mando? ;headscratch; i thought you was done with andor already but i forget how slow you is at everything (by everything i mean watching dumb horrible shows that don't matter at all). :B strange to me that you'd be partway through multiple dumb shows at the same time. are you shannoning these badboys? (i mean watching one episode of each and moving on to another show instead of binging one show, not towning a gang of men to bejesus and back...i realize shannoning these badboys could have multiple meanings!) ;hyper;; bae.


also, idris isn't took greta to have arounf doing stef if he doesn't actually wanna do it, so ur pretty much gonna have to let him do his thing. ALSO! seems they have a lead on a genetic line of int's so they have stef they can work on while he's gone. cook up a whole batch of trainees or whatever. ;hyper;


its one of the things the author keeps mentioning about how trine is odd since he's been his own self for so long without going back to teh main hive and regenerating or however those bug things work.


if frame then scorpion! seems logical enough to me... if i had to be in a frame to get arounf and a scorpion one is an option I'M TAKING IT BABY!$@#$@##$@


a couple people do try to fight the crystals in teh next chpta, and... it dun really go to well. :B


Ch 9: Idris
The crystal things kill 3. Sliced one who wasn't paying attention, then sharded a partheni, and an int hugged one to death. 😕

Now they got invited to a clam dinner!

Turns out dinner and a show! Sort of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Then solace and Idris get in a fight leaving and a guy gets whipped to Bolivian while staring at solace. Good times.

right but instead of words its a wavy stalkeyed poem of some sort.


if they weren't such trbl rooners we'd be in one of those dickrubbing universes with everything packed in all tight and rubbing! except the dicks are kids!!@#


as the dumb man falls asleep in death from his severe beating, he smiles thinking about how his killers are totally gonna vagpunch later. *ack*


just a quick mention about being in teh distance and move on!!


look, its ok, you can just say your shannoning a bunch of these badboys. there's not shame in it! (theres tons of shame in it)

i forget ur wifelady actually watches mando (glacially). for someone who doesn't like anything... seems an odd exception to make! BUT SHE IS A WOMAN SO WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY THINK!!@# lol reminds me we just watched the seinfeld where they don't write elaine into their script because they don't know what a woman would say. then her plot revolves around being SUPER mad that some lady is talking about her shoes... and george and jerry are just BAFFLED at elaine's reactions through the whole thing. had me cracking up. see... i know you're going to say something right now and i have NO IDEA what it could be ;hyper;;;;


YEAH you do. ;leer; ;hyper;;

them:


right. but trine switched himself off dangling upside down from something instead of off in his bugroom like a normal swarm of sentient bugs.


omg does this thing fly? CAN I HAVE ONE RIGHT NOW@!$@#$@#


i dunno, the one partheni chick shot one a bunch before the dying. ;stuburn;


they probably should! ;pst; so can we feed them though?


maybe they got a pre dinner warning IF YOU'RE EPILEPTIC JUST CLOSE UR EYES AND EAT TEH SOUP! TIA!@#


CAN I GO TO UNSPACE RN TIA FWIW!!@#$@#$ ;yuck;

Ch 10: Havaer
He talks to some dude and a professor about the flogging and whatever. Then goes back to his room and gives the stoled data thing to a new hiver he hired to comb through it for stuff. some interesting tidbits about how people hire hivers for stef and just take their word that they baleet it and don't save it all in their big home hiver archive thing.  SURE SURE DUN WORRY ABOUT A THING.,.. FUGEDDABOUTTTTIT

Olli: goes to see the planet with Dil and Lightly. They watch a mushroom genocide. Big tree mushroom heads that make "distressingly phallic" structures. ;hyper; I wonder if they were maybe gathering spores to take somewhere else and Ollie and crew are misenterpreting? Anyway then they head to the temple and Olli wants a drink.

Idris:
He catches a crystalforms attention as the ints tap into the rekt and it loogs ad him for a minute. Idris feels sorry for rekty for a sec, empathizes with how much endless work it has. ;facemelt;  i guess they're gonna go get wasted now


Ch 11: Havaer
Has a chat with his bugs about wad to loog for in the cylinder data.

Solace: everyone dronxes and plays games while solace wants to fuck Kris and sees a tothiat and havaer is there and Idris runs into his old int lady he'd been avoiding and then some locust ships ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ poop into orbit so everyone is all wtf or whatever.

did he just invite me to dinner or condemn me to some horrible death?


right! their horribleness incentivizes NOT hasing them and filling teh universen up to dickrubbing levels with them! though, i guess if they were THAT bae we'd all be giddy with glee that we live in such a sweet universe where we are smushed all up with these amazing youngsters!@# that doesn't sound appropriate but that is NOT how i meant it!!


its definitely better than dying whilst daydreaming about a future dickpunch!!@#


I'M ASHAMED SECOND HAND! I DON'T EVEN WANNA KNOW ABOUT IT!


it's like living with a slot machine!!@#


they KNOW we'd rather they do that out here in this room too!!@# THAT BURNS ME UP!@@#$


i bet knowing olli would be a good first step in acquiring one!


*chips a hunk of wall off and holds it out*


that is nice they got included. *chews happily on the antenna or whatever it is in the soup*


feels like there is an opportunity there for an enterprising data miner type! but who knows.


oh it helped baby! IT HELPED UP THE YING YANG!@#$


worst fleshrekt evar! ;hyper;;


i guess havaer is space tony danza now! AYYY! OHHHH!!!


WELL NOW U DUN NEAD TO! ;vernoog;


Ch 12: idris
Three naeromanth locust ships (quarter to half moonsize) are here. apparently the arkirekts rekt them way back when and now they just live in ships. Ash is here at clamville now, probably less than greta sign.

The naeromanths sound lovely! horrible tentacley beings in an old shitty moving aquarium or something. ;hyper; they meet up with the holy clam and send out a bunch of math that the clam doesn't want them to do. An attack on the rektys??

Havaer:
teh humans are planning for an ark future and a war with Parthenon to help them get there. that's wad teh bugs found in the data.

Idris:
the naeromanths linked their 3 gravitic drives and rotated their arks arounf and whipped the rekty with some unspace jive somehow! kappow!