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Post by isthisamo on Aug 26, 2023 3:32:06 GMT
boy i'm sure glad i have my handy translator here so i can totally know what's going on that is handy! did whoever this is actually claim to be your translator? :suspicious: i feel like it's just some idiot you are near. :B we are in the one where the kids are the proper horrible to keep them from being dicks. well!@ it's hard to focus on something else during the dickpunch death!@# :screamears: that person trying to justify their dickpunch dreams. bro, that's not good for your mental state! right. and in this lady slot machine scenario, that have to make sure you don't run out of coins! well! they're epileptics! they're just happy to be included. :chew: what's with that bugpile's bugstalk? :dunno: *carries on* apparently i'm more godo than i could have possibly realized. cuz i had not read it. definitely both a couple a huge cockbites, that's for sure. wait, what? but i read the next... i dun remember any ash times. are you talking about chapter 14? :dunno: or maybe ur talking about idris not caring for teh locust ships. but also i dun recall anything about that either. :B seemed pretty effective until it just really pissed off the arkirekts and brought some sort of awful arkirekt army! also, i guess he understands all now. not that that seems like it'll be all that helpful to anyone, if he survives this current situation. which it loogs like he will. with a crystal hand suvanier! that's a great comparison! i guess we're thinking similar things *practically never happens* i wonder how long idris will remember all this everything or if he'll be able to explain it to anyone. will he have another chit chat with the rekty crew? will solace town kris? maybe we'll find out some answers to these burning questions in the next chapter!! :ooby:
also, at start of Solace "Medical readouts showed his heart was still beating and he hadn't exploded any blood vessels in his brain, so she'd count that as a win."
IDRIS IS DOING GREAT!@!
Ch. 14: Solace has a super great time so yeah. she drags idris arounf for a while with the tothiat. and then she loses him and i think the tothiat too. but then the tothiat finds her. she watched one of the arkirekts get broken apart. killed maybe. :dunno: but also the arks of the naeromathi are getting their asses handed to them. tho maybe one she sees one suddenly disappear, it probably skedaddled out to unspace. she had some myrmidons join her. and idris isn't having a great time. not sure he ever does have that.
"i can feel them," he says helpfully. "The archirekts?" "all of them... i hear every ship die up there." well that sounds nice. then solace gets shot more. and it's the voyenni. believe that is the whipping people. and they chase her and the myrmidons arounf and steal idris. which can't be good for him. she fights a bunch of these crab walker things that keep shooting her and stuff.
Idris: he watches the city go by by as they carry him off. oh yeah. and the tothiat attacks the voyenni who have idris. the last magdan trys to dig a knife afounf in the tothiat to find something maybe vital. he doesn't find anything and she grabs his head and snaps his neck. onward. idris gets a ride on her now with his face pressed against the gross thing on her spine. not much he can do though since they're bounding through this city. and then they are at the temple and she asks idris why he no faith has.
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Post by ditkanate on Aug 31, 2023 18:38:46 GMT
that is handy! did whoever this is actually claim to be your translator? :suspicious: i feel like it's just some idiot you are near. :B *they aren't even talking to me* it is a fine line! a delicate balance! too horrible and the human race dies out, too great and bam, dickrubuniverse. bam, kids in a nutshell. oh man they are getting judged DURING their dickpunch death!? another layer of horrible. some bystander is just all "tsk tsk u really shouldn't be dreaming of future dickpunches at a time like this shame on you" *shakes head disapprovingly* hey... don't you worry about my coins sbw... i'll find some coins. boy, being a slot machine person is tricky business! another delicate balance tightrope life to walk! exactly! they're lucky they aren't ingredients in the soup!@#$ i believe i was referencing "the locust ships and whatever they're up to". mostly the "whatever they're up to part. cuz, they were up to stuff! ;pipe; OH U GONNA UNSPACESSLAP US!? BAM! TAKE THAT BITCHES!@# i guess that's the arkirekts. *he just describes unspace and stuff* *its helps no one* :B he's peachy! i'm wondering if he'll be able to retain this universe understanding knowledge once he's no longer on clamville hanging out in the originator ruins! as that seemed to channel it for him. i'm assuming he'll remember enough for it to matter. i mean, this is a book and all. now YOU done a godo summary! mine was a little more concise: Clamworld not doing well. The arks are losing and the rektys are rekting like crazy. The voyenni grab idris and everything is shit. solace def not doing too great, tho her armor stuff seems to really hold her body together pretty well! not quite as godo as a tothiat, but still! WHY FAITH NOHAS! ;HYPER; the voyenni drag him away but run into tothiat chick and it does not go well for them. She carries him off to the temple, and ... Isn't going to leave the planet? 🥴
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Post by isthisamo on Sept 2, 2023 11:14:30 GMT
*they aren't even talking to me* i can't imagine why they would be. :dunno; that IS kids in a nutshell. and apparently that's a tweet! :B of course they are! i think everyone who dies not alone, dies a judged death. :applerub: also, i can't argue with this bystander. you only have a few minutes left! think of something good! QUICK!@! :B :jkgay: <- alsobeingdickpunchedlikecrazy such is the life of a lady! i guess. *runs their old man out of coins* *they have to just throw that man out i think*
yeah, i think they're lucky no one would want to eat that! :yuck: the gifmaster strikes again! best little book club ever! someone: is that a book club? well... sort of. i guess. i don't know! i've never been in a book club! i imagine they are like this, only worse. much much worse.
i guess we don't know exactly wad happened up there yet. but idris did say that he was feeling all teh ships die. and he kind of implied that it was a lot. :B *he just describes unspace and stuff* *its helps no one* :B this is kind of what i imagine. and now he's just going to describe it in a cave with a bunch of poeple that can't do shit with that info. even if they could. yeah, it did seem like the originator place was channeling it into his brain. i think he will not be able to feel everything anymore. but he could still know stuff that he can't explain. those tothiats are REALLY good at healing up humans! holy crap! anyway. i guess maybe they found a good one now. or one not hell bent on killing them. so that is a nice change for them.
hey tothiat lady. thanks for the help! eh... next time. could you not carry me arounf with my face bouncing on ur gross tothiat back thing! TIA!@! ok! toodaloo!
yeah. i'm not sure what these on planet people's plan is. i guess maybe they think the arkirekts aren't going to rekt it like they usually do. :dunno: Ch. 15: i forget Kris i think maybe so shit's gettin real up over teh planet. and many much people are convinced that idris is on one of these shuttles. and i forget, somebody does something, i think the partheni bitch in charge, to disable the shuttles. so they're just floatin arounf. and then the partheni and hugh start waring bigtime! just blowin each other up like the secret documents had planned all along. well the document was really just documenting some higher ups plan. you know what i mean. so it's happening! so olli and crew are trying to get the shuttles, cuz they after idris. and then the shiny and the dope essiel clam shows up in their super fancy ship and they are PISSED! did ur asses motherfucking snag some of our followers and put them in one of ur dumb ass shuttles?! you motherfuckers! i dun tol you! don't mess with my shit!!! only that was like translated poetry that mostly knowone has any idea what they're saying. but that seemed like an accurate gist since they then proceeded to blast one of the hugh ships by just activating their unspace drive so they unspaced themselves to death!@ gravitic drive! that's wad they calls it. and then they watched the planet get arkirekt!
Idris: so then cut to idris have a blast down on the planet with the tothiat and a bunch of followers. and he's trying to fuck with them and pretty much failing. and then the tothiat told him about how they live a life of horrific pain. worse than you humans could imagine. and it's just 24x7 times for us. pretty great. so yeah.... and then idris realizes that the clams got some sick ass tech up in this temply hizzy bitch! and proceed to suck the temple and the lot of 'em off into unspace so they's fine. arkirekt rekt away!! YOU MAY PROCEED!@#@!
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Post by ditkanate on Sept 4, 2023 18:19:17 GMT
this cracked me up so thanks bro! ALSO HE IS NOW BANNED AS AF!!@# Attachments:
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Post by ditkanate on Sept 5, 2023 21:11:22 GMT
that IS kids in a nutshell. and apparently that's a tweet! :B ayyyee ohhhh! eye gots ur kids in a nutshell rite heeah ovuh heaahh!! *points to nuts* sorry bro that's all i had. man, i hope i die alone where i can dream of vagpunches in peace and quiet~!@#$ if a man is out of coins you find a new man! i am almost certain that is 100% a lady saying!@#$ don't give away the slot if he doesn't buy the coins!@# or something, that's another one probably. ;stuburn; of course they're worse!@ they're in person usually!@#$ ;yuck; its not a cave its a temple!@#$ also still not useful. see... its all attached and stuff... and you can like, bend it or whatever. ;vernoog; i guess that's idris being helpful with his newfound knowledge. was it help? i mean, i guess it helped him not get capture by the voyenni... the shiny and the dope clam! HE WAS A PISSED SHINY CLAM THAT IS FOR SURE!@# WE WANTED U TO LEAVE TEH FOLLOWERS DOWN ON THE REKTED WORLD GOD DAMMIT!@#$$#@ yeah i guess they're just in a room in unspace now! hooray we is saved! i guess. ;dunno; i guess i dun has much to add. there was a kittering line i enjoyed. olli was all acting like she was gonna board the hugh ship to get idris and she's all KITTERING IS COMING TOO or something. Kittering: OBJECTIONS RAISED FROM ALL SIDES! hmm... it was spicier in the book. Ch 16: HavaerThe ship havy was on took quite some damage, 17 people killed themselves in unspace. *stabs face and strangles self* 🙂 Havy gets a message from his old boss delivered to his swoot hiver fella Solace: She's all stitched back up, and now they all toast to idris and then trine insists they toast to professor storquel also and they all and stuff. There is a pic of Idris alive! bam, end of section.
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Post by isthisamo on Sept 11, 2023 13:14:56 GMT
ayyyee ohhhh! eye gots ur kids in a nutshell rite heeah ovuh heaahh!! *points to nuts* sorry bro that's all i had. that would probably be a hit tweet too! tbh. well. i don't see that happening! sorry bro. :applerub: man! you know a lot of lady sayings! yup! everybody here! i imagine it's overwhelming. JFC TIMMY!@ WTF DID WE SAY ABOUT THAT AXE BODY SPRAY AT BOOK CLUB!@#?
that's some book club that timmy goes to.
seemed like a pretty cave like temple. :dunno: i guess that's how i pictured it. a real dump. exactly. that's about as helpful as i would think he'll be yes. i guess it seemed helpy at the time vs. being stoled by the voyenni. but true, she wasn't exactly helping him. i guess i think you should count urself lucky if a tothiat isn't killing you! i couldn't remember his actual name, but i think i got the gist down. i guess it turns out the tothiat was right about hasing faith in the shiny and dope and his sweet unspace temples! they probably just plop on over through unspace to another planet. don't even need to stop worshiping! as long as you don't kill urselves in unspace! yeah, i think they are. i mean, there probably on their way to some other clam planet. a clamet maybe. but, that's better than dead i think! if i has a side, it has raised objections! havaer assumes it's his old boss. sounds like it should be.
this hiver seems like a pretty handy hiver to has. the havy hiver.
havy hiver: "we suggest you won't want to know, once you know, but until you know, you'll want to know. if you know what we mean." :B
havy: jfc! just tell me! havy hiver: see, told ya.
hey there kris. you know wad ain't broken! :leer: solace. what should have been anyway! :stuburn:
hey trine. worst space pirate toast ever!! JFC! solace: i gotta say trine. all i can figure is he was a real piece of shit! i don't know wad else to say.
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Post by ditkanate on Sept 14, 2023 1:56:07 GMT
that would probably be a hit tweet too! tbh. i really need a twitter profile i can curate for such things that applerub might as well be a dickpunch!@# ;floet;; timmy: eye has too much cockeyed optimism just like billy mumphrey! *looks arounf expectantly* not a sweet temple, no. i just pictured a dumb room. as far as tothiat interactions go, this is one of the most helpful ones we've seen to be sure. also if they voyenni had gotten away with him, would he have gotten off planet in time? not sure. how dumb are humans that they even bother making these big dumb spaceships! JUST POOP A ROOM THROUGH THERE OVUR THERE!@#$ ;usehaid; apparently a hannilambra planet plannilambra? ;dunno; or at least that's where vulture's going to find him. it was. haha we totally nailed it that you'd want to know stuff. ;snicker; the handy hiver. WHOOO FUC THAT PIECE OF SPACE TRASH AMIRITE a toast of immense respect Part 3: Deathknell (that doesn't seem good) Ch 17: solaceThe vulture is going after idris and parth is sending an escort ship (and solace) Hanniland planet is weird. kit: this will be unpleasant. for you and me. They show them a vid of idris on a jungle world with tothiat lady Havaer: and now his old bowz is sending him after Idris and the tothy too. Ch 18: solaceOlli calls the hanni a "robocrab bastard" ;,hyper; They are meating aklu the razor and the clam! his ship is called the Almighty Scythe of Morning and they are less than plussed that this is who the agreed to meat!~@#$ They poop through unspace to get away but it dun work the hook razor clamship is too good. So Olli and Kris are gonna go talk to em. KrisOh hello! Radiant sorteel the provident and prescient is here too! Ehhh not so prescient I guess 👀
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Post by isthisamo on Sept 20, 2023 13:58:21 GMT
i really need a twitter profile i can curate for such things toob pancook? i suppose so. i prefer to keep my apple away from all ur dicks tho, tbh. oh timmy!@ u got us there! ur such a good book club member despite ur horrible stench!! we may never know. exactly. as far as we know, idris is allive. that's more than we could say had he not been "saved" by the tothiat bitch. also, it seems like the grand aklu ain't to pleased with her either. does seem easier. also, these clam ships sound amazing!! yeah, i think that was just a meeting planet. where you can also watch weird crab things do weird crab things. that's teh sendoff i'm hoping for. i mean, i might not be called space trash. but the gist i like. that DOESN'T sound good. UNPLEASANTNESS ALL AROUNF!@#!@ havaer: well this stinks!@! this all seems pretty NTG!! well, it wasn't a hanni. it was a whatchamacallit. whatever trine is. the pile o bugs! only it shaped itself like a crab cuz it's on a crab planet. :B still great tho.
no. they don't seem to pleased with who they agreed to meat. no sir. or all the tothiats that that particular mighty and good and amazing clam uses.
i net rud.
now i did. and that was not too great for ol prescient! i feel like aklu is always killing and torturing things.
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Post by ditkanate on Oct 2, 2023 1:59:57 GMT
you are, like, really really good at this. then why are your apples dickpunching me UP THE YINGYANG!@#$@#$@#$ timmy smiles proudly. and stinks. apparently we has TWO tothiat bitches roaming arounf! omg clam ships dipped in tartar sauce. ;drool; yup idris nett thare. *everyone is uncomfortable* THANK GOD THAT NASTY PIECE OF MEAT IS FINALLY GONE! i guess that's ur eulogy. also i guess he does use HOOKS! don't fuck up aklu's shit and he wont hook and razor you! makes sense. Ch 19: idrisIdris wakes up in an originator donut on a death light radiation being planet
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Post by isthisamo on Oct 3, 2023 11:16:42 GMT
you are, like, really really good at this. :vernoog: let me know when you create it so i can follow for swoot xeets! well, it's not MY fault you need so much dickpunching! :stuburn: we'd both be better off if you didn't! bam! that's book clubs! are they both bitches? are they siblings? :dunno: man, we could open a restaurant based on dis clam universen! they're hired by their worst enemy. or, 2nd or 3rd worst. :dunno: aklu loves oli bigtime. their like kin. accurate. succinct! I LIKE IT! tost in a shot o whiskey and i got myself one fine send off! maybe these names aren't so random! does feel pretty straight forward. i'm pretty sure i'd be all for leaving his shit alone. yes he did. didn't seem to like it much.
Ch. 20: Olli oh. i guess i talked about this chapter above. i thought it was more further back stuff. i'm sure u read all this by now anyhoo.
"and the dismemberment was only the beginning. they were flensing the stuff of sorteel..." i net know what flensing was. i guess that's what they did to whales to strip off the blubber. gotta clean up that clam shell. maybe they can reuse it for another clam. :dunno: also, this made me think of clam chowder. GONNA WHIP UP A BIG BATCH!@ GET UR SPOONS READY!
later with haever: "he met with a hanni minister and a battered old human cheesewoman." is that a human that there is? :headscrootch?
Ch. 21: Idris idris goes down a bunch of ladders. he runs even tho he's got nowhere to go. :B and finds the leader who's a naeromath, a horror of scar tissue. ahab i guess. and i guess it screamtalks. that sounds nice. emmaneth and idris bond about life sucking and ending it all. and then goes into unspace in a couch or something and his mind is blown.
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Post by ditkanate on Oct 19, 2023 21:36:38 GMT
:vernoog: let me know when you create it so i can follow for swoot xeets! i guess they are posts now! but also it is on my to do list! WELL I'M REALLY NOT SURE WHAT I CAN DO ABOUT THAT!@$#@$# painsiblings. so i guess just like normal ones! *badumtiss* since these clam guys are so big now i'm picturing them up on a big spitroast thing like gyro meat! and we just slice off strips of cooked clams and make sammiches and stuff. oooh. she's horrible. and needs a machine to help her move arounf. ;wub; i guess that's razorhookclam. [irish accent]a fine meatsack he were too. *everyone shakes their head no* *we sock back another shot of whiskey* AYYYE!!! OHHH!!!! hey.... why is your name razor? and hook? ;suspicious; what!? relax! no reason! ;floet; come on FLENSE that shit! let's go! i guess that's the supervisor of this. After radiant sorteel gets filleted and packed up aklu decides he likes angry Olli. And he's mad at the tothy who took Idris. So they're gonna go get em! 😤 apparently! i gez havaer and his sweet new hiver buddy are gonna go find that emmaneth tothy! so. yeah. ;dunno hasn't read. ;ashamed; ok now i read it. ;unashamed; Meats Ahab Something is active down there, not wanting to touch the word "alive". His brain is honed. Honed is a polite way to say fucked over. ch 22: Havaerhmm my note says chapter 23... but i don't recall a 22 between idris and havy... so, not sure which chapter number this is. anyway, it's havaer!@#$ Runs from heremon tothy but ends up with them and the remaining vulture peeps. seems tough getting chased by a tothy! they can just smash into walls and jump off things and shrug off broken ankles and wadever. at least it doesn't seem like they're superhumanly fast! so that's gude. Now they're all headed to find Idris and then fight over who gets him. I'd probably bet on the tothy but hey who knows. Havy has a tothkilling jabber, and his bugs are on the hull of the vulture God tagging along. should be interesting.
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Post by isthisamo on Nov 4, 2023 3:41:13 GMT
i guess they are posts now! but also it is on my to do list! :ooby: this is one of life's conundrums i think. people ask mountain gurus about it and stuff. their the most siblingest siblings i've ever heard of! :drool: this is a killer business idea! other than it being based on fictional meat! exactly that's razorhookclam! just don't get on his bad hook side. if you can help it. a razorclam top tip! oh man! tony is there!? i'm more ready to die than i ever have been before! :ooby: *hops on a mechanical spider to ride it* aahh?! look at me? i'm a weirdo like you! :floet: yeah, i wonder if they'll end up on this horrible death planet. seems like it's going that way. everybody will be there soon. :dunno: this doesn't sound like a good time to me. tho i don't think havy is planning on a good time. tbh. poorly honed. or, the honed side-effects are not great. it loogs like 21 idris went straight to 22 havy. :dunno: i think they can be if they want to be. like they can push themselves so hard they're damaging themselves but it doesn't matter. but they're not like the flash or something. :dunno: but i think this tothy was kind of chasing havy casually cuz he wasn't really worried about him getting away. :B yes, i hope so. about the interesting bit. :B i noted this line: :B i'd go for being shot by solace. :leer:
so that chapter was all havy.
ch. 23: Idris he has some chats with jaine and shinandri, and emmaneth is with him all the time clapping him on the shoulder which he loves. and maybe ahab is there too. they just want to kill the arkirekts. it's like all he ahab or maybe any of them care about. not really the secrets of the universe. just where the fuck are these arkirecks coming from and how can we go smash their crystal asses!
so idris is warming up to the idea of helping them even tho he's pissed bigtime that he is being jerked around and forced to do stuff without him getting to decide. even if he would have decided the same thing. i get that. i think most people would be irritated too, even if irrationally.
oh that's right. they gave him time to sleep but maybe they don't know about his no sleeping. :B we get some more idris trying to make sense of what he is seeing. a lot of stretched stuff stretched between things or something. :B
then ahab is there during the next meeting. again i'm reminded how great ahab is as it sort of eats something fleshy purple and orange.
and then we get some more ash. and i'm reminded how GREAT ASH IS! :hyper: this author's aliens are amazing. anyway. ash is also pretty much just wanting to get rid of the architects. so it seems like everyone is linked together through a common enemy.
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Post by ditkanate on Nov 13, 2023 2:08:49 GMT
unfortunately my to do list rarely shows up as one of my getting things done projects!!@# fate dealt us each a hand. and here we are. maybe i should be a mountain guru... ooh! add it to jokemeats! some time down the line when our future selves do stuff, we could make a real live butcher shop that sells all these joke and fictional meats!@@# we just have to fashion some big hunk of ugly clamlike substance to roast! maybe there's a mushroom out there that would work. ;pipe; aw man. accidentally got on his hook side. NO BUENO! exactly! i'm the most normal giant razory hooky clam you'll ever meat. let's all head off to the planet of deathlight! whoo!!@# hey, i'm here for a good time, not a long time. oh wait i'm here for neither. ;superfrown; well, right. they have an advantage over a regular non lobster person in a chase but they aren't like superpowered fast or whatever is what i meant. but also caught anyway :B what a way to go! whoo!!! now we're talking. ass smashing here we come! it's all connected and stuff! or whatever. i dunno really. i like how ash is a tree wearing a trenchcoat pretending to be as humany as possible. ;hyper; ch 24; Kris They land on some waterworld and talk to a dude who tells them emmaneth and shinandri have been collecting [scientific word stuff] there in exchange for large donations to their orphan fund. then the voyenni come down to stop them and kris gets into a legal duel that almost becomes a real knife duel. but reinforcements arrive and grab her, but she buys enough time to get kit and havy to their shuttle with the info on where idris is. oh and apparently Hugh has attacked the Partheni's so there is a war on.
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Post by isthisamo on Nov 15, 2023 12:47:09 GMT
unfortunately my to do list rarely shows up as one of my getting things done projects!!@# that is unfortunate. for you and me i guess. i know where i am mountain guru! but where am i going!? by then we can just use lab meat! :ooby: welp. i guess i'm soup. or a sandwich. or meat in a suitcase or something. do the clams meat? well! it's got secrets!@ :stuburn: *deathlight* *it's horrible* *and there's horrible people there* yes. i think i followed you. i was just trying to clarify that i think they seem pretty powerful, just not like superman. but way better than any normal human. but still human tho. :B i assume she shoots some sort of lady vag bullets. :dunno: hey wait a second!@ these god damn archireks don't even HAVE asses!@#!@ :goddammit: it seems to be. which makes sense since you can take these unspace shortcuts. if they weren't connected to anything you'd just go into unspace. it'd be horrible and then you'd come out. and you probably wouldn't do that again! i CAN where a cloak! that's pretty human! :stuburn: ash yeah. solace is all, wtf! you are all part of the people that are waring with me! like you all instantly became my enemy sort of. :umm: well, this stinks!
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Post by ditkanate on Nov 15, 2023 22:47:59 GMT
that is unfortunate. for you and me i guess. oh man. if my to do list got in front of my eyes regularly, our whole LIVES would be different!!@#$ but, alas. where one goes is where one goes and where that is one can only begin to surmise giant lab slabs of fake clam meat. love it. welcome to the lab slab life brotha! the age old question! they probably have their giant sled things slide back and forth to rub their gooey clamselves on each other. might as well add a few more to the pile! human she must! this is going to be trickier than we thought. *you go into unspace and meat the horrible presence* *ack* *you aren't anywhere* i mean, that is a valid point! AND I DO NOT LIKE IT!! more her. Ch 25: HavaerThey make it off planet barely, but kris is still stolen. ;applerub; Krisso she's on mr sweety boy's ship. He wants idris to work for humans but kris is dubious idris will want to. no no its a volunteer program now! ;floet; Havaer they get to crikeys hell and uskaro is there too and they figure out Idris is down there somehow. bam end of part 3. Part 4: criccieths hell
Ch26: idrisHe goes back into the unspace machine and starts figuring it out even more. And touches an architect mind, which was afraid of him. he doesn't think the OTHER presence there is the one controlling the rektys. OTHER is just big and there and ntg. but maybe someone in realspace is reaching into teh unspace ovur dare and making em do stef. probably the clams tbh fwiw! then they can sell their rekty protection services! ;dunno; And now teh vulture god is there.....
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Post by isthisamo on Nov 24, 2023 6:38:32 GMT
oh man. if my to do list got in front of my eyes regularly, our whole LIVES would be different!!@#$ but, alas. do i want this different life u talk bout? i'm not sure i do, quite frankly! :stuburn: alright, well since ur a fucking guru, why not begin surmising you little fuck!! i guess this is how you have to talk to these gurus!
that can be our tag line. GET UR LAB SLABS HEEAAUUUH!! *hands another clam sam to another customer* we're gonna be a sandwich! i haven't felt this fulfilled in ever! :highfive: :leer: move that sled! oh yeah! just like that! *goo* apparently! it's crazy how much all these people want idris. but i guess they've really had trouble making more of him. :B well! they're just human's in pain with big lobsters on their backs. that sounds better than half the humans i know, tbh. that's the impression we've got at this point. when you build a society of super hot super lady soldiers you have them shoot vag bullets. that's just common sense! *swings blindly hoping to hit ass* i guess. HEY! THIS UNSPACE STINKS!@#! :pea: not all that different than the current response to it.
*talks out of a treehole in his treetrunk* *it kinda feels like squirrels are talking to you* *you can't buleev how human it is*
:leer:'s at kris. she seems to know what she's doing. :dunno: them relax! take a rest! we're the good guys now!!
oscar or whoever
he we got a hole here we can fly down! LET'S FUCKING GO!! *hole instantly snaps shut* GOD DAMN IT! havy! u r fucking useless by the way! oh shit! i'm way behind now! :ballhands:
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Post by ditkanate on Nov 29, 2023 4:27:14 GMT
do i want this different life u talk bout? i'm not sure i do, quite frankly! :stuburn: oh you want it baby! YOU WANT IT UP THE YINGYANG!! maybe we should be more careful what we put on these lists. just on the off chance. you better watch ur fucking mouth our i'll guru you straight to hell you little pissant!!@# i guess that guru is a bit surly. reminds me of a wise saying i recently heard: "it's easy to be a holy man on a mountain." ORDER UP! GOT 4 CLAM SAMS ALL DAY! 3 CLAMFRIES! SIDE OF CLAMSLAB! i like the sound of this place. never imagined i'd provide this much value to society!! the words are probably more riddle-like, but yeah! *waves eyestalks in ecstasy* HE'S THE KEY TO THE WHOLE THING AND THEY ALL KNOWS IT! true. honestly, as long as they aren't trying to kill ME, they seem pretty ok all things considered! i wonder if i could have a little taste of their lobster attachment. i mean, if i sliced a lil slab off to cook and eat with butter, it would just grow right back, right? WHAT'S THE HARM! WHY IS EVERYONE LOOKING AT ME!@#$@#$ OTHERWISE WE'D MAKE THEM UGLY MEN! OBVS!@#@#$ *they graze some sharp crystal* ehh. ;dunno; *shakes a pea* *isn't anywhere* *isn't anything* well it's squirrels talking english! AND IT HAS A COAT! ;stuburn; ahh i'm sure she'll be fine. *leaves post haste* now i'm picturing oscar the grouch. and i like that. hey! i got a badge! i mean, no one will listen to it anymore. BUT I CAN FUCKING WAVE IT AROUND LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS!@#$@#$# Ch27: OllieHello idris we are here to rescue you! No! Come back later. Quite busy. Well la de fuckin da Fuck me idris! Calm down! GAH SOMEONE ELSE!#$$ 🤬🤬🤬 sometimes olli is pretty great. Kris: has some sweet convos on the uskaro ship. And then havys bugs talk to her and she trips into the console to help. 🙂 Havaer: the navy calls havys bluff and says his credentials are revoked. They are closing in a d the voyenni insist on surrender. Then his hiver calls and says he can help, so they're gonna go dock with the raptorid and fight it out. Then a bunch of parth ships poop into the system.
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Post by isthisamo on Dec 4, 2023 13:13:41 GMT
oh you want it baby! YOU WANT IT UP THE YINGYANG!! maybe we should be more careful what we put on these lists. just on the off chance. wtf is on our list?!@#?? JFC! WHY EVEN HAVE A LIST LIKE THIS?!@# future us. i don't think that's something a guru can do. guru you to hell. maybe if they could do that they'd get more respect. :dunno: HEY BUDDY! U CAME TO ME!! mumbles: i don't know why the fuck i even bother with these people...
i'd eat the fuck out of this place! i want a clam sam BIGTIME!! exactly! i've been useless up till now! right. some kind of sex riddle poem! and olli is all, WHATEVER CLAMMY!!! JUST KEEP THAT EYESTALK A WAVIN!@ WHOOOO!#!@ he's sooo close!! i almost getses it! i don't know how easy it is to slice those lobsters. i get the impression they have a pretty hard outer shell! :B right, they can shoot there plain ol normal penis bullets. :jerkit: was that ass??!@! :hyper: another reaction they have. hey! i'm pretty sure i was supposed to be something! *pea* very vast and ye points! talking english goes a long way. well, along with the coat of course. they'er trying to get her. sort of. they have a lot of people to get! :screamears: like if oscar pretended to be all regal. that would be spot on. we're trying to loog out for all humanity here. sure, it looks like we're just out for ourselves, but we're real human lovers. also, it wasn't my idea to come along with you fucksticks! i'm pretty sure! idris: this is kind of important. don't wanna be saved right now! come back later. TIA! apparently that helped BIGTIME!! :dunno: yeah. now it's all fucked up bigtime. the vulture is still tyring to go the the raptorid. and i guess eh... NEXT!
ch. 28 maybe? so the parthenon is sending a jumpship or whatever down to the planet and idris and ahab go in for another round and they are closer but still not quite there. idris is thinking that there is something down there that is willing to show him how it works or something like that. :dunno:
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Post by ditkanate on Dec 10, 2023 17:55:37 GMT
wtf is on our list?!@#?? JFC! WHY EVEN HAVE A LIST LIKE THIS?!@# future us. *the list somehow got done* *our lives are in complete shambles* GAH! OF ALL THE LUCK!@# he's up on his guru mountain imagining that he has guru'd quite a few people to hell. little does he know they are living amazing lives down there, hundred percent hell-free!!@# YOU BEST PUT EXTRA FUCK IN MY CLAMSAM!@# YOU KNOW WHY!@#@#$ i guess the clam is fucking olli now! i mean, razor does kinda like her so why not! *goo* MORE STALK LESS TALK CLAMMYBOY!@#$@#$@#$ party pooper! where there's a will there's a way! maybe an axe would do the trick. or get to the meat from the other side instead of going through the shell? gotta think outta the box here baby!!@# i guess that's how you fire the penisgun when in doubt let's just assume we grazed ass! *there's no pea either* *shakes an unpea* YES! THE COAT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE!@# WE'VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT!@#$@#$ and the one they're going after doesn't even want to be got! yeah yeah sure ting. humanitys will be's fine donworryabouddit. *sidenote* later in the day after i typed up that i was picturing oscar the grouch, someone posted oscar the grouch on my X timeline. i hadn't seen oscar in... i dunno. years? and haven't seen him since!@# BUT I LOOGD AD MY FONE LIKE: i know this kinda thing shouldn't surprise me, like, ever. but sometimes it still does!@# this simulation we're in is weird!! ah well ur officially a traitor now. ;applerub; olli was so non plussed by this whole thing. ;hyper; i'm halfway through this. will report back for duty when i finish. aye aye cap'n! ;salutes; also a hugh warship unspaced into the middle of all this action too! whoo!@#@$@#$ I'M BACK AND FINISHED CHPTA GODO CHPA! Idris going mad to get back in the machine. Ollie going after raptorid and a hugh ship poops out of unspace. And the well is open again. Idris: but we were almost... YOU'RE ALWAYS ALMOST!!! Solace and the tothy going down the well for Idris, chased by two voyenni ships, while Ollie and havy try to take on the raptorid *And here. We. Go. Gif*
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Post by isthisamo on Dec 13, 2023 14:07:46 GMT
*the list somehow got done* *our lives are in complete shambles* GAH! OF ALL THE LUCK!@# how the hell did we get so good at doing lists now?! *we make the worst list in the history of ever* *we quickly become list accomplishing master super gurus*
for some reason i had chatgpt open. and so i fed it this just out of curiosity, and it came up with this. i guess it thinks i'm gonna tweet it or something. :dunno: anyway, maybe we should start using that hashtag.
wait, i thought the guru was you? i guess it can't be. how the hell would you get up there? you can't climb mountains. no offense. i mean, it's more that you don't have the inclination to really. i think you probably could if you put ur mind to it. anyway, so i guess we're just a couple of guys living the hell-free life! :highfive: i like the can do attitude of this restaurant! *takes a fucking clam bite* *gives more stalk bigtime* of course that's what the clam is doing!@ it's super handy that goo is part of the process. #handy
i didn't invent the clams! and i have no control over how hard they are to dispatch! talk to the author!~@#! :stburn: these fuckers are like impossible to kill. you can't just stick a knife in the lobster! 🙄 absolutely! any other method and it's kinda hard to aim. that could be a t-shirt! or a bumper sticker! IT'S CERTAINLY A PHRASE TYPED UP!@! THIS UNPEA IS VERY UNSATISFYING!@#! *the yelling doesn't go anywhere or to anyone or anything* right. i'm just saying. i see a talking english coat, especially proper british english, i assume that's a human bigtime! but if it's just a talking tree, well, i'd just think it was a talking tree! or if it was just a coat like, blowing in the wind on a tree branch or whatever. i don't think i'd mistake that for a human for very long. :B also, sorry chris, but he's the most important! he's the key to everything!! apparently. i feel like that stuff happens to you all the time. i mean, you specifically. maybe it's the universen trying to tell you something. BUY SESAME STREET STOCK! STAT!@# aww man! well this stinks! also, when they land on oscar's ship is he gonna fight them? then he's really solidifying the ol traitor business. she's really ready to go fuck up some voyenni! that's right. they were like, i guess they got some functional ints after all. cuz they shouldn't be able to do that shit i guess. yeah, but this is super duper almost! i'm sure the ol trip down the well is going to go splendidly.
ch. 29 Solace: so we get a better look at what flying through the well is like and also more glimpses at how super sweet this planet is. so nice.
also, a reminder of the weird trick the partheni ships have where they redirect fire to parts of their ship and just eject it off. so the ship slowly shrinks i guess. kinda weird. and they have a sweet firefight on the surface with some voyenni. tons of fun! also, solace is a bit worried about how they're getting off planet. a valid concern i'd say.
Idris: more talk about how they're wrecking the facility and ahab is like we gotta do this shit now! we can't wait! it seemed like ahab was worried that the thing they found is not too plussed about being found and if they dun hurry it's gonna fuck 'em up or something. not sure.
back to solace: so now the shield is down and there like, oh. that's not good. and when the light and radiation and whatever gets the crab gun and the persons running it it like rips them apart. kinda reminded me of the archirects a little only maybe there's no sweet sculpture in the end. cuz it said "other parts were being twisted as though invisible hands were rending them." :dunno:
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