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Post by isthisamo on Dec 1, 2021 11:20:00 GMT
dearest lordentine, please killeth the worst billion of us. tia. hth amen. that's gotta be one of the most reasonable prayers teh fine lordentine has ever heard upon his ears and head and beard and stuff! tho, all those hands. pretty useful. makes sense they is good at teh building ovur dare. :usehaid: i wonder what the :weary: whistle is. :curious: they probably DO say that!@ and that is totally the appropriate amount of hand snooking for that situation!! again i wonder about the state of the lab. like why is everything destroyed? ur in a spaceship! you don't just leave everything lying around before doing a dangerous maneuver where you run the engines for like a million years AAASHDFSHASLKDFSKDJFLS!@#$!@# (u know wad those were) rocky: i guess better use for hands is putting these dumb clips together vs whatever the fuck that is that superdumbhuman likes without pants! that was totally the next chapter. he puts a bunch of stuff in a steel tube. ... hmmm. i don't actually have a way of getting into that or looking it or anything. hmm. chalk that one up for another problem for future dumbo!!  now i am certain of this. that he will wake up after some number of days. of course dumbo did blow his stupid vents clean. so he didn't just do nothing after almost getting them both killed. :B i like to think all kinds of sweet sounds come out. notes, tunes, beeps, bops, boops, whistles, U NAME IT!@# Y SHOULD THEY LIMIT THEMSELVES!@# DUMBO IS THE ONE WHO SUCKS!@#!# i am evermore confident that this is what is happening with dumbo's expert knowledge of rocky tunetalking that he doesn't even need his translator anymore for. well, that is the thing it was basically built for. also, rocky seems to think human science is super and the way to saving. it's the one way that rocky is dumb! :B was that a quote from chapter? i barely remember... it's coming back to me. hmm. i'm pretty sure he's bigtime wrong about that one!! the book didn't say, but i assume he must have air blowed him, NOT WITH AIR!@#! SINCE THAT IS WHAT TOWNED HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE!@#@! but whatever. but yeah, he's waking up bigtime. i guess that would be a pretty big twist for the author to throw at us. rocky just lays there for the rest of the book. :B |
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Post by ditkanate on Dec 1, 2021 15:41:02 GMT
that's gotta be one of the most reasonable prayers teh fine lordentine has ever heard upon his ears and head and beard and stuff! *kills a billion people at random* ;dunno; hth? seems like hasing xenonite at one's disposal is pretty useful too!@# it does wadever he wantses! not sure, but i'm imagining one of r2's sad whistle boops. dumbo translation: amaze! ALL HANDS ON SNOOK!@# AYE AYE CAP'N!!$#@$#@ also! that totally was rocky once he woke up and found out dumbo let the sample go to room temp!@# WTF!@#$ HOW STUPID ARE YOU EXCATLY!@$#@#$@#% AAQGHDFGSGH^%%$@$$% *aggravation clouds of ammonia*  i sure do! like an old frienf coming to visit! ;jkgay; i'm glad he has this healthy attitude towards the situation. :B dum dee doo dah. COMPUTOR COFEE PLZ THX AND DRUGZ :B lmao also he shouldn't have done that. *there are tons of boops and things in rocky's language* *dumbo thinks it's a musical chord* man, rocky! u sure do say thank and amaze a lot!!@# rocky: ;cussing; if he could just see light, he wouldn't need dumbo at all!!@# well, he air blowed him with rocky's version of "air". *rocky is just a rock now* *dumbo bumblebobbles arounf until he dies in some stupid accident* *humans and eridians are towned* the end. ch 21: rocky awakens!@#$  you blowed my vents!@#$ wtf u trying to kill me dumbo!!! AND ALSO SAMPLE IS ROOM TEMP AND U CAN'T GET TO IT!@#$ WTF MAN HOW STUPID ARE YOU!@#$$#@$#@#$@ dumbo: ;sheepish; i'll go adjust our horrible orbit now. rocky: yes, adjust orbit while stupid, good plan. WELP I GUESS THE ORBIT IS NEVER GETTING ADJUSTED NOW!! also teh other science astronauts blowed up.  so now we has to send dumbo on mission. BRANG ME A GUN! BRANG ME SOME HEROIN! BRANG ME SOME... nitrogen?  i guess dumbo was just all.... sure, nitrogen that's fine. i will honor dubois by killing myself his retarded way. smh. |
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Post by isthisamo on Dec 2, 2021 11:05:50 GMT
*kills a billion people at random* ;dunno; hth? you all seem pretty horrible to me. :dunno: -god it's only at their disposal cuz they is geniuses. they had to figure xenonite out. probably. yeah, that makes sense. both the sound and the horrible translation! BOY!@ U FOLKS SURE HAVE A LOT OF WORDWHISTLES FOR AMAZE!@# - dumbo
oh for fuck sake. you took stupid drugs?! ur barely functional as it is!@#!@# :5handedsnook: i need to get some better friends.  the clipping of the chains or the towing of the human? also, his space suit would have totally saved him from those burns!! but whatever. i chung cluck so get drugos. it's so weird that the author is making dumbo such a complete incompetent! why is this such a huge trend in authoring?!@# rocky: boop. dumbo: ahh, g flat. got it. amaze again!
also the weary r2 whistle. that's true! man! i sure am glad i got this light seeing retard to help me out!@#! -rocky (also, i'm not supposed to say retard) :B i did enjoy how rocky was like,  u hurt me bigtime. make healing take way longer. man seeing barely helps you people!@#! dumbo: wait, maybe that chord isn't amaze...
rocky: BOOP IS NOT A CHORD!@!@#
is he really the best choice!@?? well, no! the other choices blowed up!! :usehaid: can i have a bit of that heroin first?  also, it's all moot now since he's just gonna go live with the rockys probably. |
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Post by ditkanate on Dec 2, 2021 16:20:16 GMT
you all seem pretty horrible to me. :dunno: -god killing a billion random people is a perfectly reasonable way of killing off a billion of the worst people! *the 7 billion still alive people think god did a pretty good sorting job* maybe. maybe their weird ammonia super pressure atmosphere makes discovering xenonite easier!$@#$#@#@$ ;stuburn; *he basically can't tell any notes apart as different* :B eYe hAs aLwAzE hAd eAr 4 tEh nOtEz wait, you're saying you are capable of getting STUPIDER than your default stupid state? ;hugeshockedface; *you get new friends* *they are horrible and being dumb and horrible* *aggravation clouds swoop in* HEYY! IT'S MY OLD FRIENDS!@#$@$# ;hyper; no idea. i guess he tows dumbo arounf with the chain now. he's the every man! so relatable! much dumbo!  rocky: beep dumbo: f minor! interesting. thank! lol now i had a brian regan flashback. *tosses report on desk* welp, this is what the whales are sayin'. yeah charlie figured it out. ;dunno; ;scared; also don't worry godo brother! i won't tell anyone how racist you are against retards!#@$$#@ ;shh; also, just wait until you see why the power goes out in the ship! ;HYPER THE ANSWER IS MORE RETARDATIONING!@#$$#@@#$ ;hyper;;2;;3234%@#$%#@ OMG I WISH I COULD SEE LIGHT SO I COULD KILL YOU AND JUST DO ALL THIS MYSELF!@#$$#@ ;5handsnooking; *boop means retard* *rocky is super non-pc* WELL HE HAS THE COMA GENE!@##@$ ;rolleye;s for some reason that cracks me up as the "excuse me sir may i haveth some heroin if you would be so kind?" face! tally ho, just off heroining arounf teh galaxy. chapta 22: the shit hits teh fuelok so the lights go out and now dumbo is useless. dumbo: i need to find the generators rocky: u not know where u ship parts are, question? HUMAN BRAIN USELESS!#@$$#@ ;5handsnook; ok so he finds teh generators... and his astrophage fuel lines are CHOCK FULL OF TAUMEBAS!@#$ why? well, you know, the ship has cracks and things and blah blah... UM, YEAH OR UR EXPERIMENT WITH THEM WAS SO FUCKING CASUAL YOU LET THEM LOOSE IN YOUR AIR!@#$ FUCK WHAT IF THEY'RE TOXIC TO HUMAN LUNG TISSUE OR SOMETHING HE ISN'T CAREFUL AT ALLLAAGHHGHGHGHGHGH#$@%#$@$%$%$ hi frienfs *he unscrews a beetle compartment bolt* *it floats off into space* opps lol hey rocky u can make bolts right? rocky: HOW ABOUT U HOLD THEM BETTER U FUCKING RETARDED SACK OF LIGHT SEEING!@#$$#@$#@ |
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Post by ditkanate on Dec 4, 2021 18:50:43 GMT
CHPTA 23: THE ONE WHERE WE LEARN DUMBO ISN'T JUST DUMB BUT ALSO A SELFISH POS
Authority said what we've been thinking! "do you think I kept you on the project so long because I needed a junior high teacher arounf? 😳 "
Can't believe she actually said it!
Boy. Dumbo just gets more and more unlikable. But at least it explains the dumb amnesia. so does this mean he's remembered this now? or he soon will i guess? EYE NET WANT GO EYE NETT DIE!@#@#$ ;stuburn;;;
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Post by isthisamo on Dec 5, 2021 4:35:00 GMT
killing a billion random people is a perfectly reasonable way of killing off a billion of the worst people! *the 7 billion still alive people think god did a pretty good sorting job* i suppose they do. oh man! thanks god! those people were teh waerst!! *god thinks about maybe knocking out a few more billion*
maybe so. they just stumbled into some and were all, BOOP WHISTLE TONE BEEP!!! that sounds right other than all the talking and collaborating they do. it's all very suspicious!! also i feel like rocky is now paranoid that something they are going to do is going to make him even dumber and he's kind of put all his eggs in this basket so he's just desperately trying to keep his dumb human alive so he can do his part! that is how i believe it would go down yes. hasing friends is hard! everyman is teh worst! i hate this dumbo guy so much!!! that's actually a good comparison. i guess if the whales built a tube we'd be all set to communicate with them no problem with some taped together laptops! :usehaid: why would fuel eating bacteria be anything to worry about floating arounf ur whole ship!? no way to know that! there was like another scene where rocky figures everything out and dumbo is just :B the whole time. i guess, what am i saying. that's this whole book! i wonder if rocky thinks all humans are this dumb. i mean, he would have to since they would only send their best and brightest on this mission! i guess it starts as that face and then slowly morphs into the zombie face. these are now best parts of book. omg, it's like that is all this book is now except when rocky is being annoyed!  dumbo: thank! *he heard amaze again* ok, so i take it we're in agreement on how we reacted to dumbo being a huge baby coward. like, wtf?! it's gotta be you. like, it sucks, but you just go. there's nothing to think about. YOU DON'T EVEN HAS KIDS!@! what a piece of shit. also, how naive is this guy that he didn't realize he was next on list! he even knew he had the coma gene! and you're like an expert cuz u been there from the beginning! as soon as those scientists blew up he should have been, oh shit. i know wad this means! :snook:
but also, as excited as he is at all the sciency shit about astrophage, wouldn't this be a super exciting opportunity? death or no?
but this leads me to another thing we haven't talked about but i had been thinking. i feel like it didn't make sense that it was always called a suicide mission. you're going to the fucking astrophage homeworld!@# there's tons of them there! so fucking refuel your ship with them there!! just scoop 'em up from their trip back from teh sun! or make a generator for more fuel that you run off the sun or some crap when you arrive. hell, even if it's a long shot, you give them the tools to at least try some ways of refueling. you send the beetles back, and then you spend the rest of your time trying to get ur fuel filled. and then bam, not a suicide mission, just one you are likely to not survive.
ok, so going back to baby boy saying no. i just don't get it. it's been ur life's work for the past few years, ur just going to throw it away? also the death is way off in the future. those are deaths that are easier to accept, cuz it's future yous problem.
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Post by ditkanate on Dec 6, 2021 4:52:03 GMT
i suppose they do. oh man! thanks god! those people were teh waerst!! *god thinks about maybe knocking out a few more billion* what's funny is i bet those people WERE teh waerst!!@# what the remaining alive people don't realize is that they are too! ;hyper; starting to understand this flood mythology a little better i think. that definitely sounds like what they would say at that time! *there's no alien* *he's talking to an inert pile of space rocks* are there more things that can make human dumb, question? dumbo: oh yeah! tons! you should see what happens when i'm on heroin! whoooo boy! rocky: fuck! opps i mean beep boop!!! a tube of oceanite! or something. oh man can you imagine if authority had a live feed of what's going on in this ship! ;hyper; tho ur right on this, we'll give him a pass on the taumebas towning his entire fuel supply. absolutely NO WAY to forsee that. none. hay rockee ken u mayk thezz? rocky: ;weary; YES #$%@$% I CAN MAKE WHATEVER THE FUCK BOX YOU WANT@%$@$%@#$% also calculates trajectories and where to put the beetles on the hull and how to operate them and oh yeah the epoxy stuff to actually stick them to the hull. basically everything. oh yeah and magic fixes the generator and seals it off from dumbos stupid dumbo filled atmosphere. ;hyper; exactly! his impression is that he's dealing with the cream of teh crop! i'm sort of reading rocky as a disapproving high strung asian mother now. like how their kids can't do anything right. do task! lazy human.  *nods along as i read this* nah they'd rather provide them with nitrogen and guns and heroin. :B but even then! like, hey. it's a long shot you guys come back. but it isn't 0%. give it ur best. if it gets too horrible and you aren't gonna make it and want to kill urself then fine! but yeah... can't just assume it!#$%#$% HE HAS TO PREP THE KIDS OF THE FUTURE!@#$@#$ ;usehaid; chapter 24: ehh... nitrogen something
ok so now he does remember he's a piece of shit coward. but now he's invested in the saving earth plans so authority's plans work! *pea* and they're working on making nitrogen resistant blah blah blah.... rocky makes a bunch of dumbo proof science equipment. yadda yadda. |
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Post by isthisamo on Dec 6, 2021 12:27:58 GMT
what's funny is i bet those people WERE teh waerst!!@# what the remaining alive people don't realize is that they are too! ;hyper; starting to understand this flood mythology a little better i think. so we're all equally teh waerst?! i suppose that makes sense. like it explains how i think everyone else is the waerst! but also, i totally agree that we are too!@#! :pipe: dumbo translate: amaze this is all some grand hallucination coping with being alone nonsense!@#! oh, that would really be something!@!# rocky can totally just talk normal but doesn't want dumbo to know! i started typing up other times authority would be all WTF!?? but then i realized i was just re-hashing all the stuff we already wtf'ed about!@ so there was no point! i'll be busy not dying in the storage area!@ :verneig: good lord these humans are fucked with our without the astrophage!@#! rocky
that is pretty accurate! i was also like, wtf, when he wouldn't wait 11 days. ffs. he's just all, ahh! rocky's got dis!! he's amazing!@#! we'll be fine! but also, ur in space!@#@! there's no shortage of killing yourself options! just jump out teh airlock! even if that death kinda sucks, it'll be pretty fucking quick! or just go on an eva but let ur air run out and stare at the tausunset!@#! oof. it was just so... horrible. i guess the author wants to drive home how horrible this guy is. ehh. ok. is that so he can redeem himself? i don't understand this author need for this crap!@#!
wait, do these chapters actually have names!?? :B i thought you were making them up! oh, you ARE making them up! i thought i was losing it or something.
we're on our way to saving everybody. ain't much left. so these little buggers are teh savior. i guess this has been an interesting ride. there was some morsels of goodness in teh book. but again with the shitty ass main characters! |
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Post by ditkanate on Dec 6, 2021 15:51:38 GMT
so we're all equally teh waerst?! i suppose that makes sense. like it explains how i think everyone else is the waerst! but also, i totally agree that we are too!@#! :pipe: not sure it's 100% equal waerstness. but close enough that no one argues too much about the random billion killings. thank! *he's in a coma the whole time and the asian and russian actually saved teh day. :B dumbo: boy, that note rocky just sang sounded a lot like "fuck"! huh. puts into spreadsheet as "amaze". authority is just in a constant state of ;weary; and ;hairpull; and ;snooked; that just shows how dumb dumbo is, no one can see him verneiging in there. smh. well wait, maybe rocky can sonar see him. i retract that. they even have magic thinking machines but are still stupid! and also they die fast and leak! ew! yeah like ur gonna risk towning ur ship all to hell NOW? the finish line is in sight! ;weary; hey!@# no! I WANNA DIE OF HEOIN GOD DAMMIT!@#@ ;hoppingmad; we get it ok! WE GET IT! AUTHOR! WE NICKNAMED THIS GUY DUMBO LIKE HUNDREDS OF PAGES AGO! YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP HAMMERING IT HOME HTH TIA!!@$#$#@ FWIW IMO!!@#$#@$ you probably are losing it. but not about that. i'm just hasing a good time. i've enjoyed rocky quite a bit. *shrug* CHAPTER 25 - FAREWELLS ARE SAD!ok so dumbo doesn't want to keep a Venus-tuned batch while they crank them up to 8% tolerance for rocky's place? 🤔 um. ok. seems like an unneccesary risk. what if there's something unpredictable where the 8% ones don't react properly with the venus... oh whatever. it appears this worked out fine, but i'm just like, i don't understand the lack of care. i mean even rocky wanted him to!@# So he's going to make dumbo do something heroic and sacrifice himself at the end right? That's why he's made him such a coward for now? maybe not, seems like rocky has him set up to survive with all of his magical engineering feats. dumbo: sew u ken mayk new fule tenk? rocky: Obvious I can do that! You stupid right now. You sleep I watch and design tank. Fist me! 😃 so now we fly home i guess. by rocky. *waves* *tear* |
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Post by isthisamo on Dec 7, 2021 10:20:56 GMT
not sure it's 100% equal waerstness. but close enough that no one argues too much about the random billion killings. i think it's withing the tolerance for error in the waerstness calculations!! a couple things. that would totally make the most sense out of any other outcome for this book. 2nd, wow, this guy's coma life even sucks!!
call that one F FLAT!! - amaze! i bet IT or whoever would just disconnect her feed. tell her it broke or something to save her all the anguish!! i did enjoy that part. dumbo: you like horrible spiders on our planet! GREAT! I'M SUPER SWEET SPACE MONSTER! UR JUST A STUPID BLOB SACK THAT LEAKS!@#
i was like, boy, dumbo really lost that one! gotta keep driving home how horrible this guy is... for some reason. tho i guess now the author is all, well! he can't not be horrible now! it would be out of character!#@! :stubburn: also, i feel like there are a few ways the ol heroin plan could go awry. but whatevs! don't kill urself before you saved teh world ovur dare!@ TIA!@# i was sure, right up until i wasn't sure! yes, rocky good. yes, stupid human!! i'm actually not sure. is it just a dumbo saves teh day kinda booko? i'm lost now. how he not come up with this on his on? the whole time he's blathering about food and fuel i'm like, eh, rocky can just make u more tanks. :B he makes, fucking everything!@#@!#!@
humans leak! gross!!
did enjoy that one.
why your face opening in sad mode, question!??
i missed something back in a previous chapter. eh, what? you did? no you didn't! what, ur life as a super sweet teacher?! you gave the same thing anyone would have who would've been there, maybe less!@#!@# |
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Post by ditkanate on Dec 7, 2021 16:54:20 GMT
i think it's withing the tolerance for error in the waerstness calculations!! hay! thez persun u lefted alive is 0.037% more waerster than thett uthr paersun!!@# *pea* *god kills that obviously waerster complaining person* *he coma dreams about how stupid he is and keep fucking everything up* *amaze* yeah sorry authority, dumbo smashed the live feed equipment when he went into centrifuge mode. you know how he is. ;rolleyes;; ;jerkit;; also ;whew; took a huge L on that one! not many wins flying dumbo's way! here, eat this chalk dust for 4 years. :hyper;;; *he explodes his ship somehow with a dumbo experiment and hadn't even launched the beetles yet* :B yeah, that's some trust to just send a bag of heroin in the personal effects! HAY DON'T TAKE ANY UNTIL UR DONE! OR ELSE! *shakes finger at them to indicate that they'd be in trouble* yeah we're running out of pages to redeem old dumbo here. a little surprised rocky couldn't separate the nutrients out of his eridian food from the metals! tho i guess with plenty of fuel he didn't really need to. also i like that you're starting to type like rocky. why he not come up with, question? human stupid! who wouldn't enjoy a good fisting? ONLY CRAZY PEOPLE yeah cuz everyone else has it so easy! like, the last 26 or whatever years on earth haven't been a picnic you fucking asshole! like authority is telling him how there's gonna basically be world wars over food and he's like YOU GO TO HELL U SCREWED ME ;FU;  ehh... hey dumbo... how about you shut the fuck up. HE ADMITS HE DOESN'T EVEN REALLY HAVE ANY FRIENDS ON EARTH JFC MAN!$@#$#@$#@ other than being a literal dumbo he's THE PERFECT CHOICE FOR THIS FUCKING MISSION. well, being a dumbo and an irredeemable coward. Chapter 26 - the long way homezoops i already typed up the part about authority explaining how bad earth is gonna get. but that's technically in ch26 here. again the book jumps back to present time in space and he's still mad! OHHH JUST U WAIT STRATT! I'M GONNA GIVE U A REAL PIECE OF MY MIND WHEN I GETS BACK!@!# (@) holy shit man! it's over! stratt's probably fucking dead or locked up for abusing her authority back then or something!@#$@$# oh boy. and then we have this: dumbo: wHy dOeS tHe aStRoPhaGe sMeLl bUd? ;hedscrutch; oWe wAiT eYe n0 y iTz cUz eYe m tEh wAerSt :B like, as soon as he smells it stinking, you're telling me he doesn't instantly know? does he HAVE to be stupid every god damn line of the book!@$##@@$# "then the realization hitted me. it's teh taumebas" yeah no shit sherlock. fuck's sake. |
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Post by isthisamo on Dec 8, 2021 9:56:51 GMT
hay! thez persun u lefted alive is 0.037% more waerster than thett uthr paersun!!@# *pea* *god kills that obviously waerster complaining person* that calculation was way off!@#! wtf!? god
wow, that is a very plausible scenario you came up with!! like, i'm pretty sure it happened! sounds worse than chalk maybe!! he's DREAMING of chalk!!
at least that would be a realistic ending at this point! it's probably not heroin! just a big bag of some crap and it's labeled TOTALLY A GIANT BAG OF HEROIN BIGTIME!! :floet:
lookin for a redemption heeerr!! get ya fresh hot redemptions!!
that's probably spiderballoon scientists who do that sort of thing. :usehaid: also, of course i talk like rocky now!@@#! this book ruin brain!@# it's number one in all the whore houses now. i think. i just don't even with this guy. do people relate to this? are we the weird ones? i dun get it! exactly! she had to at least be in her 40s to get this authority gig. so now she'll be in her 60s! (ur hung up on some clown from the 70s man!! - seinfeld spice) ur gonna go yell at some grandma when you get back? you better stay the fuck away from her or she will rightfully kick your ass!!
totally with you on all that. he is teh waerst!! he would definitely be one of the 1st billion that god kills!!
but also, why the FUCK!! would you not do a bunch of this shit together with rocky!@#@!?? the guy that has FUCK TONS OF ASTROPHAGE AND CAN FIX ANYTHING!@#@!#! i'm like, u have to transfer fuel, wtf?! with a syringe!@#@!# are u fucking kidding me! there's fucky taumeba fucking everywhere you fucking AAASHSDFSDHFLKJNSLKDJFHLSDKJF!@#!@#
sorry. got overwhelmed with book love there for a second.  |
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Post by ditkanate on Dec 8, 2021 14:20:48 GMT
that calculation was way off!@#! wtf!? god anyone who questions the calculations gets taken out in the next round. thank! *gets back to earth* *immediately begs for some chalk* *not for teaching, for eating* the sequel book is just earth devolving into a dystopian nightmare where everyone keeps watching the sky for hail mary return help that never comes. they curse the asian and russian. little do they know, it was all dumbo's fault. ooohhhh that's good. it's actually powdered sugar! or ehh.. rock candy? i think i don't know what a bag of heroin looks like.  anyway it's some form of sugar! and he takes it to kill himself when he runs out of chalk powder, but then figures out it's sugar and he has just enough food to make it home! ;wub; ;happyending; *i try to signal for one but the guy isn't looking my way* book ruin brain! no do task! lazy human! it was only a matter of time! i hadn't seen the latest polls! i suppose some people do. OH MAN I'M WITH HIM I'D BE SO SCARED OMG HOLD ME U GUYZZZZZZZ. i guess that's some horrible relating reader. what was her name? stratt? what, she was some authority or something? dumbo: YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF STRATT?? ur hung up on some 70 year old grandma authority man! ah man, that's greta. she could probably lock him up for treason! YOU GAVE A SPIDERBALLOOON SCARY AS AF ALIEN THE ENTIRETY OF HUMAN KNOWLEDGE!@$#$#@#@$ WTF@#%$@#$% it happens! that's funny cuz i hadn't thought of that but now that you point it out it's SO obvious i can't even believe it!@#$$#@ hey, let's take one more day and square away these stupid fucking beetles eh? we all know how stupid and leaky dumbo is, let's leave nothing to chance. actually chance would be better to leave it to than to dumbo. i guess the author just has to think up problem upon problem to get solved. bam that's a book. that was basically the plot of the martian. but at least that guy was smart and competent!$@#@$# dumbo is creating all the problems himself!@#$ CHAPTER 27 - more nitrogen words so he dumbos around nitrogening everything. Boy! sure is a good lucky coincidence about dubois suicide method!@#$ 🙄 Oh I forgot to close the BOCOA before I shut everything down opps. i mean, apparently it wasn't a big deal, but every. single. step. of the way dumbo f's things. |
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Post by isthisamo on Dec 9, 2021 9:03:04 GMT
anyone who questions the calculations gets taken out in the next round. i'm down with it. you know we wouldn't complain! just eat our toasted mustard sandwiches and watch god take out all the dumb bastards. well! can't stop now! i'm addicted! they got ahold of me!! *coughs out a cloud of chalk dust* we read it bigtime.  that's brilliant! tho, wow. that is ONE BIG BAG OF SUGAR HEROIN!@#! i think that will be this book maybe. tho now it looks like he will succeed. maybe he'll have to dumbo through a few more things like seeding venus. and then he'll get back to earth and it's just completely towned! oh! like his brain was great before!?? :HUGEROLLEYES:
the book probably
it's hard to keep up to date! they change so frequently!! wow. is that our fellow readers!? i didn't even know there WERE readers like that!
mouth in sad mode! right. that's how i picture it. again, that's IF the world isn't just totally fucked when he gets back. which seems like it should be. oh that was definitely crossing my mind! like, boy, i think quite a few people back home won't be too pleased about that one! you did WHAT!!?? dumbo: well, *rubs back of neck* rocky was nice. :wub: :embarrassed: ... anyway, prepare for a crazy spider invasion probably. tho, our planet isn't suited to them at all. tho... they could probably teraform it pretty easy. they seemed pretty good and making stuff and stuff. :B yes! he's hasing all these troubles and thinking, boy, good ol rocky would be pretty useful about now!@!#
NO SHIT!@#!@#
yes, definitely this book. i never read the martian. just watched the movie ovur dare. decided that was goodo enough. i mean, there's always luck in these things. if dumbo didn't have luck he'd be dead 7 ways till tuesday!@#@!# i know. just unbelievable.
i assume we'll just move on to venus now. or i guess we'll have to hear him complain about chalk and then decide he'll need the coma.
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Post by ditkanate on Dec 9, 2021 15:04:53 GMT
i'm down with it. you know we wouldn't complain! just eat our toasted mustard sandwiches and watch god take out all the dumb bastards. ha ha ha! look at all these dumb people god is killing. *chews hot bologna mustard sammie* *contentedly!* ;nervous; COSTANZA SPICE! ;shoulderarms; gah! who's the dumbo now!!?? it's like one of those big burlap bags of rice or whatever. you know, except heroin. that's sugar. WHY IS OUR SPACESHIP INFESTED WITH ANTS!@#$@# ;snooked; while i like this idea, i think the next chapter we read rules it out. *he gets back to earth* *their antarctica blowup plan worked too well and it's overheated* DAMMIT DUMBO WE NEEDS THE COOLING NOW!@$#@#$@#$ *pea* dumbo: :B while i would love to argue with the book here, it makes a great point. sorry to be the bearer of bad news upon your sad mode leaky dumb face. *applerub* *he gets back and everything is fine* *almost utopian really* rocky was nice! ahhh man, that's great. so you gave the complete specs of all life on our planet to superengineerspacespiders. cool. cool cool cool. ;twak; *they town our planet with ammonia and 29 atmosphere pressures or whatever [engineering terraform words]. the book was good. like, if you wanted a lot more in depth words about how he calculated the amount of potatoes to grow and how he formulated the water and stuff. and he'd be dead who KNOWS how many times by wednesday!@#@$# i mean the real luck here was running into old rocky. tbh. imo. the magical engineering space spider balloon. amaze! au contraire monfrare!@#$#$@ CHAPTER 28 - TRICKY TAUMEBAS!@$##@$AWWWWW SNAP! WE GOTTA SAVE ROCKY BOYZZZZZZ!!!@# WHOO!!!@#$@$#$#@ we taughted the tricky tauboyz how to get thru xenonite! time to shoot the beetles off to save earth and turn this mf-er arounf!!!@#$ ROCKY I'M COMIIIIINGGGGGGGG[/quote] |
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Post by isthisamo on Dec 10, 2021 10:30:29 GMT
ha ha ha! look at all these dumb people god is killing. *chews hot bologna mustard sammie* *contentedly!* ;nervous; it is kinda tough to tell the horrible criteria!! like, we're just hoping it's a different kind of horrible. *chew* well! we have to read something!@# :stuburn: huh, i didn't realize ants liked heroin so much. :B dubmo.
oh, so you think it's guaranteed he'll go save rocky. that makes sense. i was irritated with how long it took him to realize rocky was fucked!! like a million hours later! oh shit! rocky! :rolleyes; it's hard to win an argument against a book. eh, probably! I'VE SACRIFICED SO MUCH!@#@!# :pea: the whole world is singing cumbaya or whatever.
sounds pretty horrible tbh.
well, that would be his argument! he's got nothing else!~ like, he has NO IDEA if rocky was just some crazy anomaly or what! like, rocky could get back and present the computer and all the in charge spiders are all, SWEEET!!! WE NEEDED A NEW PLANT! WE WERE TOTALLY HASING OVER CROUDING ISSUES, BUT NOW OUR TROUBLES ARE SOLVED! *rustles rocky's vents* that sounds like something my brain would sign up for!@ like it's trying to spite myself! that was a huge luck win thing that's for sure! like, you couldn't have much more luck than that. he would have been fucked bigtime without rocky! like, no chance of success whatsoever!! well, i did say he would dumbo his way through some more stef. that's pretty accurate. he hasn't said he's going back for rocky. but again, that seems like good guess. but he is a coward. so he could leave him cuz he might die! is this the cowards redemption? sacrificing himself for rocky? |
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Post by ditkanate on Dec 10, 2021 15:46:42 GMT
it is kinda tough to tell the horrible criteria!! like, we're just hoping it's a different kind of horrible. *chew* exactly! maybe accepting hot bologna mustard is a killing offense! i swear a couple of people in that first billion were better than me. ;suspiciou; hmm... i've done the math and this checks out! amaze! omg i can't believe how dubmo that is!@!!@@# *pumps the ship full of insecticide* *doesn't put anything away first* man, these taumebas really town the HELL out of xenonite. boy that sucks! *rocky's tunnel in his ship disintigrates* *he's just sad his sweet storage area is rooned* dum de doo dahhh... :B also yes i think it's guaranteed. author not bring up rocky if he no save rocky. i feel like we try! but not sure we've ever won one. i guess utopia = kumbaya (maybe cumbaya is better ;leer; ) anyway, ur comment here reminded me of a recent funny JW thing! well, horrible but funny? cringy? i'll stop talking and just tell u aboot it. so have you seen any of the "music videos" the jdubs have been spitting out in recent years? if not, lemme tell ya, you're missing out BIGTIME!@# so the most recent video is this bland white lady imagining paradise! and it is.... ntg! OMG I FOUND IT ok so watch that and come back. so is it just me or is that the worst most boring paradise evar!@# *goes out on rowboat and reads new scrolls that looks like a giant bible* :B *stirs veggies in wok* *walks in field* also the entire message is nonsensical. wtf is with the blind lady? why are blind people there, even in the 1000 years? paradise keeps getting worse and more convoluted the more they explain and talk about it. anyway! u saying utopia sounded horrible reminded me of that! he makes a compelling case! though i think most humans would be ;suspicious;!! ok so you say he was nice? yes and he's basically made of rock and looks like a spider with 5 rock hands right and his blood is mercury yes and his atmosphere is ammonia mhmm and he's hundreds of degrees hot yes and a super engineer genius correct! so you see! it's all fine!@#$@$#$#@ oh he also says thank and amaze a lot!@# ;stuburn; exactly! he's the crazy spider they tost down in the ship's engine room! and maybe he went crazy from all of the other crew dying! oh man self brain! you have managed to spite me and urself again! kudos! *tips cap* he wouldn't even have been able to get a sample of adrian's air!@# he only BARELY did cuz of the xenonite chain thing and even with that rocky had to save his dumbass from gforce death1@# grumble of course!@#$@#$ as i predicted a few post's ago he has to redeem his good face self!@# but.... chpta 29 - teh reskewhe has to be horrible first!@# *finds rocky's ship* YES! I'M GOING TO DIE! is his first thought. ;weary; jfc man he really has to get over this death thing. also we had to tost a quick little dumbo thing in there. *he is surprised or something and flies out of his chair and bangs arounf the cabin* smh *jumps to rocky's ship way to fast and smashes into side* now THAT would be a booko ending. *smashes into ship and breaks suit* *dead* rocky: dumbo? is that u? ok so they're going to erid. rocky: settled. fist my bump! he probably actually said, agreed fine human that is what we shall do. dumbo translates into fisting also now dubmo doesn't even have to die cuz he can eat taumeba slime all teh way home. heck, maybe it tastes godo and he'll stay with the spiders and live out his days with friendly rockballoons!@# |
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Post by isthisamo on Dec 11, 2021 3:36:09 GMT
exactly! maybe accepting hot bologna mustard is a killing offense! i swear a couple of people in that first billion were better than me. ;suspiciou; QUIET!@#@!# don't question the killings!@#!@# ffs! have u learned nothing!!Q?  stupid human! :twak:
*types all kinds of things out on a calculator and maybe makes some spreadsheets* *reads some book u saw on twitter* :B good thing ol cappy's backup backup suicide plan was to insecticide himself!@# :wherw: a small part of me wanted the author to keep going with the dumbo is horrible and he would be too scared to go save rocky and he'd just leave him and convince himself that he'd be fine. which he almost did. i don't think it's worse! probably! well, i won't get those 3 minutes back!@ :screamears: i was thinking, so paradise is mostly just more reading the bible!? ffs! i'm perfect! don't i have that shit memorized?!
and i was totally with you on the blind person. eh, shouldn't that have happened already?
i feel like, the further you get from being in it, the more and more ridiculous this stuff seems. don't worry! things suck now, but all you have to do is put ur head down and read these bookos and talk to urself and stuff and then life will still suck but you will be sure that it is gonna be WAY better in some future time. future u is gonna be great. now u, well, now u is fucked so... just go tell everyone how fucked they all are too! :usehaid:
:hyper: why does he say thank and amaze a lot? cuz that's the way i typed up his language!@#@! come on man!@# try to keep up!@# u shoulda seen how nice and cute he was. i mean i know i say "spider" but think of more like a rocky dancing giant spider that boops and hums and stuff!@ he must be saying amaze and thank all the time! u had to be there.
*meets one alien* well this species can obviously be trusted with our complete collected knowledge!! if the other humans don't like it they can take it up with fucking stratt!@#!@ bitches!@# yeah!@@! *does a fucking motion to mimic fucking over all the stupid humans* u r good at that!! yes sir. and i seem to be powerless to stop you! so, i guess ur just gonna keep on doing it! :sigh: :weary: yeah, i don't remember when he first would have been dead or fucked and shooting sugar heroin, but it would have been right around the time rocky showed up! :hyper: yeah, that was irritating me too, obviously. jesus christ, uv been in and out of possible death for like the whole time you awoke from your coma!@# u think ud be fucking used to it by now!@#! ahh. of course that is wad he duz!! once dumbo always dumbo!@# that would be good. i did think that was gonna go worse than it did. just another minor dumbo moment. carry on. not till we rig up a better tunnel my fine bumpy frienf!@#!# oh yeah! this is all just horrible dumbo translations still!@ i was irritated with dumbo again here with the starving to death business. the author really. reminds me of the initial suicide of the mission. WELL THAT'S IT!@# I WILL DIE NO FOOD!@ :B I HAVE EXHAUSTED ALL OPTIONS!@# STOP TRYING TO THINK OF WAYS OF SAVING ME ROCKY!@# IT'S FUCKING OVER!@# THAT'S WHY WE BROUGHT HEROIN!@#@!# rocky thinks for like half a second: eh, what about the taumeba, question? dumbo: oh. right. DAMMIT I WANNA COMPLAIN ABOUT DYING AND MY SACRIFICE!@#!@#
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Post by ditkanate on Dec 11, 2021 15:40:11 GMT
QUIET!@#@!# don't question the killings!@#!@# ffs! have u learned nothing!!Q? stupid human! :twak: wait is that god twakking me? am i daid now? i would NEVAR make a book spreadsheet. ;floet; exactly! stowed away a HUGE insecticide tank. i hear bugs get all the best deaths. he was definitely thinking about i! hmmm, i'm sure rocky's fine. he's a genius! he doesn't need me. *rocky's ship light is gone* AWW FUCK!@#@#$ ;snooked; lol oh man. i snooked you good with this!!@# ;hyper;;;;; um, those are NEW scrolls that get opened in teh thousand years! they just look very bibly! ;floet; *god is in reruns* also man those new scrolls are BIG!@#$ maybe it's a combo edition of the bible and the new scrolls together. but not sure why we'd still need to read the actual bible anymore. isn't 99% of that shit fulfilled at this point in the narrative? ffs. yeah so apparently there's some "new light" clarification bullshit where they are implying that for your bad shit to go away during the 1000 year reign you have to accept the teachings of the new opened scrolls first! once you do that BAMMO healification happens. like, WHAT? THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE MAN!@#$@#$@#$ yeah it's weird how insane it all looks now. like i'm watching that video and just going:  gah it's like you people aren't listening at all!@#$ do you know how hard it is to type various tenses into a spreadsheet@$@#$@$# exactly! they just don't get it. cutest space rock spider evar. ;stuburn; i mean, on this i'm with dumbo. if stratt doesn't like how i handle intergalactic spider relations welp, then DON'T COMA ME ONTO THE SHIP AGAINST MY WILL!@@#$ ;fu; ;stuburn; very shortly thereafter at the latest! *damn, stratt thought that might work* maybe stratt overlooked putting seat belts into the ship! ;hugegiantrolleyes; move along, nothing to see here. ROCKY STOP IT I'M SERIOUS! I'M DYING AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT! chpta ehh.. 30, but it's actually Vsymbolething [erid letters]CUZ DUMBO IS ON ERID EATING MEBURGERS BABY!@#$ FUCK YEAH!@#$@#$@#$@#$ booko immediately jumps to five stars. and he gets to teach horrible little eridian spiders about leaky horrible humans and science and stuff!@#$$@#$ see! he still gets to be a teacher! *redemption takes a bow* |
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Post by isthisamo on Dec 12, 2021 3:54:59 GMT
wait is that god twakking me? am i daid now? apparently! i believe that was the system set up. there was only one rule and you couldn't handle it!@# :weary: i may or may not have made a music spreadsheet a long time ago. :B :floet: AND because i have every file that i ever made practically, i may or may not still have said sheet that possibly never existed! it's like a cross between heroin and dying in a huge vat of acid. although he was not looking forward to the 4 year journey home. at this point we're finally in some agreement with dumbo!@ i mean, at least i knew going in. i basically could have typed that up before i even watched it. i was like, there is no way this isn't one of the waerst things evar!! and it did not disappoint!! ffs, why do you have to call them scrolls. it is obviously a book! look! god is stuck in the past man! isn't it obvious!@ so, everything is scroll based. he is probably spiting us for bookifying his sweet as scrolls! but yeah, for everything being wrapped up and things should be happily ever after, that was a big fucking book that apparently you have to tote around with you everywhere! :snook:
PASS!! no sense? god can do whatever the fuck he wants! that's teh beauty! what's that? you want some heally juice?! i bet u do! well, hows about u agree to these 800,000 page scrollbooko first! :twak:
it's like you have to sign some contract where you promise not to eat any of the lambs and stuff. promise not to do a bunch of murdering, unless god recruits you to murder horrible children who accidentally got borned bad. :B
one thing is i'm reminded how crazy the human brain is. like how manipulatable it is and stuff. like, the witnesses are basically using brain hacks to make sure people stay entrenched in this belief system. hmm, that's a godo point actually. he's an alien that can't even see! he probably doesn't use tenses anyway! :stuburn: i was just wondering, did he send back like video footage of rocky in the beetles? i know he sent xenonite. maybe at least a selfie with rocky or something! oh yeah, i was typing it up i was thinking the same. i was also thinking that some of the humans would have been like, we could trade this information! like it would be valuable. make these mother fucking spiders work for that shit!@!# dammit!@#! you can lead a horse to water or whatever!
i'm sure the seatbelt was just dangling down next to teh chair while he bounced arounf!
no way! ur gonna play with ur organ in front of all our kids!! :stuburn: i have been thinking, the only real issue with the book is the main character being a bit maddening. otherwise the plot was good. the rocky character great. and once you add in meburgers the book overall gets a decent rating!! this really drove home just how ridiculous and silly this book was. like come on.
i can say i can't think of any alien civilization wroted about in any other book that was so helpful and nice and perfect.
also! rocky even learned to use the word ass!@# he said long-ass trip or something, don't remember but he used ass!
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yes yes yes! i'm gettin there rocky just wait a sec!@#$$#@
so now we has to send dumbo on mission. 
u hurt me bigtime. make healing take way longer. man seeing barely helps you people!@#!
also, it's all moot now since he's just gonna go live with the rockys probably. 
anyway it's some form of sugar! and he takes it to kill himself when he runs out of chalk powder, but then figures out it's sugar and he has just enough food to make it home! ;wub; ;happyending;
