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Post by ditkanate on Feb 24, 2023 22:17:47 GMT
surprisingly, a bit better! it is definitely a pants tightness reason upgrade! it is too bad all the reasons to pick from are so horrible! but, at least this one doesn't cause rotting and future leg sawing times. i'm really really digging deep to resist finding the most god awful radish shaking gif the interwebs has ever seen or produced. i'm not sure this town has anything! just beans and whiskey! *they sneak up on a mexican bandito ranch* BAH GAWD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL I RECKON BLAH BLAH BLAH *we accidentally write lonesome dove and talk about a sign and pigs and stuff* *it was bound to happen eventually* ah well, dish rode it off its fine. ch 10: i guess they are gonna have some horrible irish brothers in their posse now. I've seen possums that could outthink this outfit! THESE BEANS AINT NO GOOD, DURN NEAR BROKE MUH TEEF! :B ch 11: stealin horses and whatnot. some pretty good gus stuff as he is needling jake. JAKE U NEED A FEATHER PILLOW TO RIDE ON! U AINT THE BUILD A HOUSE AND RAISE BRATS KINDA GUY JAKE! jake: just gotta let gus wind down on his own. seems like how we deal with dad. shh... just let him run out of steam. Call: we found two irishmen, no mounts just a mule and a donkey. WHY I'M SURPRISED THEY AIN'T NAKED TOO! TAKES SOME DOING TO MISS THE YOU KNIGHTED STATES ENTIRELY!
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Post by isthisamo on Mar 5, 2023 5:59:56 GMT
it is definitely a pants tightness reason upgrade! it is too bad all the reasons to pick from are so horrible! but, at least this one doesn't cause rotting and future leg sawing times. if i have to choose between losing a leg and having pants stuffed with dildos, i'll take the dildos, but only by a hair! i can't believe you dug deep and found the depths of digging successful! beans and whiskey party, comin right up!@#! 🤠🐮🐮🐮🤠 🥂🍾🥂🥛🧉 you keep blabbin gus and maybe them velascos (i can't tell what he's calling them) will bring them horses right to us! yeah, i'm pretty sure that's how it works! the magic of quantity! those irish guys were cracking me up. my brother ain't too smart. I'M SMARTER THAN YOU!@# :stuburn:
*tries to eat another dry bean* OWW! :B :hyper: i was chuckling quite a bit to myself, upon my good self through both these chapters. to come all the way from ireland and miss the united states and land in mexico is pretty impressive! tbh! so newt was pretty helpful! tho he did do a good job not getting killed our rooning everything. so i imagine call considers it a job well done by an idiot boy. :B newt: lorena will be pretty impressed by me now i imagine. gonna get a taste o that corn cob bed!
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Post by ditkanate on Mar 6, 2023 19:38:50 GMT
if i have to choose between losing a leg and having pants stuffed with dildos, i'll take the dildos, but only by a hair! you just shoved me into the worst dildo hair puddle i've ever seen. ffs. now you're just trying to aggravate, provoke and goad me into finding one. IT WON'T WORK! YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME!@#$$@# since there's no water, do they soak the beans in the whiskey? VAQUEROS! COME ON MAN! ITS A MEXICAN COWBOY!@$#@$# can we magically type up an editor and publisher? ;pray; *tries to ride a broken down donkey* THAT DURN DONKEY'S HOBBLED DAMMIT! wel eye net due it. :B also! the reader guy had one of the worst attempts at an irish accent i think i've evar heard! ;hyper;;; easy to miss galveston. a little less impressive to miss an entire country! and a big one at that. oh for sure! if he could ever muster a word! ch 12: not done with it yet, but some pretty amazing P words. he is a ranch hand u can has i guess! women done confusify me. i'll just stay here wif da cap'n. AWW COME ON NOW P EYE! THE WIDOW HAD A HALF PINT SHE NEEDS A FULL PINT!@#$ PI: :B ok finished 12: lol so PI apparently stumbled on the widow taking in laundry before a storm. smh. "he didn't mean to smell her but she smelled cleaner than most of the wet animals he came into contact with". he would marry her, but doesn't really know why she would and doesn't really know what marriage means. literally can't imagine what he would do in a house with a woman. i know! maybe she'd let me stay here with cap'n! i'd do her chores still n' stef. ;hyper; *decides not to say anything for fear of being mercilessly made fun of* *which, tbh, is probably a good call* the irish aren't too impressed with america so far! *starts crying* Is this all there is to town? yes and it's worse than it looks!! ;hyper;
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Post by isthisamo on Mar 8, 2023 0:56:36 GMT
you just shoved me into the worst dildo hair puddle i've ever seen. ffs. well, when i saw that puddle, i couldn't think of a more fitting person to be in it! tbh. apparently i can't! ur ur own man! with ur own thoughts and will and actions! does that even work?!@ :dunno: bolivar and crew seems to find water. from where i have no clue. right! i knew it started with a v! i couldn't remember! vagirooscos? me i think eventually we have to! it's like inevitable. just need more quantity! KEEP PLUDGING BROTHER!@ :hyper: but i was thinking in this case they meant hobbled as in tied up! on purpose to keep it from wandering away! and he just hopped up there and tried to ride it off anyway. :B i just pictured it because they're the worst irishmen i've ever seen or heard of!@ so it fits! it's like retared irish talking. later on gus expounds on their missing of the good parts of murica.
WHERE'S THE SNOW!@#?? naw son! u over shot the snow! what we have down here is sand! i guess there is that small issue. tho loretta doesn't seem to fussed about talkin. if nobody talks i guess they just make cob bed sounds! i never really thought about how little time cowboys might spend with women if they weren't into the sportin girls. mary: now that the rain gave you a wash you ain't half bad!
man i find myself chuckling a lot listening to this booko. i haven't chuckled this much since i was a boy!
again. some fair points by ol PI. wtf would we do all day sittin in a house together?!
the cap'n is likely to ride off without me besides! also, yes. gus would have LOVED to hear PI's marriage plan! :hyper: sean was an easy weeper.
boys! u just gotta flop over and drop!
also, all during the ride sean had expected to fall off his horse and become paralyzed. which i thought was a completely relevant fear. tbh.
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Post by ditkanate on Mar 9, 2023 3:51:57 GMT
well, when i saw that puddle, i couldn't think of a more fitting person to be in it! tbh. awww! that's literally the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. ;blush; i mean, there's a river somewhere. they're trying to dig a well. not sure if its a second well or a better one or what but it didn't sound like they'd hit water in it. VIAGRACOONS! OF COURSE! don't stop now! i mean, i dunno if the finish line is in sight or anything, but we seem to have committed to this course so we may as well see it to the bitter end. yeah i think it is some sort of cowboy term for something! and he's just real dumb! i mean, you ain't wrong! no sir. ain't no grass neither! overshot all that by a good bit. ;applerub; if she dun talk there is less chance of these horrific men falling in wubs with her. and no real way to practice or learn or anything! like, there's two single women within hundreds of miles! since you was yay high on a corn cob! u ain't as bad lookin as i thought! i'd like to hear gus's take on it tbh! ;hyper; well the horse is very high! when he was describing him dangling from the saddle and the horse is gettn pissed i found myself chuckling upon myself! ch13: a real sportin chapter! we get to hear how lorena falled for jake. smh friggin let him carrot her up twice for free!
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Post by isthisamo on Mar 10, 2023 10:28:11 GMT
awww! that's literally the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. ;blush; i guess i was feelin a bit nice for some reason. sean, go tost those beans in the river! they'll be ready quicker 'n u can fall off a horse! they sound dangerous, that's for sure!@ ah, it will be bitter too i bet! the only sweetness being that it is finally fucking here. real dumb. i'm pretty sure retarded. which i believe people still were back then. come on in and have some beans that is actually cooked! she doesn't understand men AT ALL!! the silent hotty is pretty much the best woman any of us have ever heard of EVAR!@#!@ exactly! if she was so great she wouldn't be given it away for free! lest you could take her to san fran at LEAST!! not quite as dumb neither. :B me too! i'd really like to hear him weigh in on this matter. i swear, almost every time gus talks anymore i'm chuckling dost so upon my good self. i didn't realize just how different jake was arounf teh ladies! he's to women like harry potter is to magic! or something like that! :pipe:
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Post by ditkanate on Mar 12, 2023 18:52:29 GMT
sean, go tost those beans in the river! they'll be ready quicker 'n u can fall off a horse! and as we all know, that's right quick! *everyone laughs* you don't want to happen upon a pack of rabid viagracoons in the middle of the night nosir! i wonder if anyone will go through our chrome profiles and links and stuff, or if this will just be another dead webpage lost to the mists of intertime. almost everyone actually! now no one is, we just have a handful of differently... abled? she just does sportin stuff to my carrot and then doesn't say anything! ITS LIKE A DREAM WOMAN! THE TALKING IS THE WORST PART!@#$@#$@#$ or at least promise to for now. ;dunno; damn, she musta thought he was REALLY dumb. i think that's right! just takes right to it! poor dish. ;applerub;
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Post by isthisamo on Mar 14, 2023 7:28:31 GMT
and as we all know, that's right quick! *everyone laughs* sean bursts into tears and tosts a dry bean in his mouth and runs away or something. :dunno: i sure as hell don't! er, well. i guess unless i need a good injection of stamina! if iykwim! and aidyd! the mists of intertime! that IS where most things on the internet end up! don't know if our shit will end there, but it's a good bet! it's more that their unabled. by god son!! u is unbrainabled!@ i tell u what! exactly! if you want men to not love you. you should stop all that carrot stuff and start talking a WHOLE BUNCH!@ :usehaid:
she's purty! but god damn!@#!@# u just want to get away!
any man exactly. that's all you really have to do. to get a bit of towning. by the time it's figured you ain't actually going to san fran, u'll be about tired of that particular towning anyway. i imagine. i guess he was already pretty damn dumb!! but, i bet she's surprised by his brightness, tbh. based on lorena's thoughts, i don't think ol dish had much of a chance!
also, jake is good with ladies in the sense of getting them hooked on himself. but as gus said, he ain't so good for marrying and raisin kids and such!
also! chapter 14: so i think i listened to this one. like jake came back from townings and was pretty displeased with pretty much everything he has to do besides town lorena! he is no to pleased to be hanging around gus! i know i was chuckling dost so many much times through this chapter as well. i waited to long to post so i dun remember. i know they are gonna try to keep the viagracoons from getting their horses back. or at least the good ones.
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Post by ditkanate on Mar 14, 2023 15:11:44 GMT
sean bursts into tears and tosts a dry bean in his mouth and runs away or something. :dunno: *falls down and cries some more* *sleeps in the sun and dreams of potatoes* i didn't realize they were injecting stamina!! ALL RIGHT COONS! LEMME HAVE IT! :jkgay; the mists out stuff ends up in are kind of like the mist that rolls off a steaming pile of garbage or dung. but it IS mist! ;stuburn; WHEN GOD WUZ HANDIN OUT BRAINS YOU WUZ NOWHERES TO BE FOUND! PROBLY ASLEEP WITH THE PIGS! ;yes; unfortunately in this instance, she would then be broke! as i doubt many people would pay her to NOT do carrot stuff. or radish stuff. what? no san fran! ;pea; WELL I'M NOT DOING ANY CARROT STUFF ANYMORE!@#$ jake: ;shrug; k smh women! tell em ur gonna take em to san fran and they go believing you! i was just giving you some false hope to look forward to, wtf is rong witchu! ;twak; jake: i don't WANT to move no horses! if i'd knowed coming back here meant all this work i'd have stayed back there and hanged! ;stuburn; gus: why Jake you lazy bean! ;hyper; gus: i spose i should wake the irishmen before they bake! the irishmen are pretty horrible where should i shoot a man? jake: his horse! HEY SEAN U SHOOT THEIR HORSE! jake: why'd a woman hit you with a stove lid? gus: IF U LIVE WITH MEXICANS LONG ENOUGH YOU GON' EAT BEANS! jake: :B eye dun get it. gus; ;weary; chpta 15:deetz ponders riding the moon and hopes there aren't indians all over it since the moon controls the water! dish pines for lorena and loses all his wages in a card game looking at her white arms. everybody wants a poke but nobody is gett'n any! damn jake! ;pea;
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Post by isthisamo on Mar 20, 2023 8:17:19 GMT
*falls down and cries some more* *sleeps in the sun and dreams of potatoes* worst new cowboys ever! i feel like dish or jake or someone is like, wait, these 2 idiots who can't even get off a horse are on the crew now?A!@#! WTF kind of crew is this!@?? i dun like these coons OR the "injection process." but damn it if i dun needs me some stameenuh!!! darn tootin!@ this is the worst mist i've ever seen!@#!@# someone who finds our stuff in the dark recesses of the interwebs. not the darkweb. just like the regular internet that is dark and stinky due to like putrification and poop and rot and stuff. people wish it was a bit darker, tbh. well!@ i was tired!@ call probably ran me all night day before god did his handout!@ damn it!@#@! *hopes the moon indians don't attack* right! tho apparently she could get by just taking men's money in poker! tho she would be advised to play poker with people who actually have money! :B guess i'll haffa fine me a different whore. she prolly wun be as purty as u, but if she takes care of the ol carrot i'll be just fine! i guess he tells her that. course i ain't actually takin you to san fran!@ i gotta herd cattle!@ you know that's my job! i'm a fucking cowboy1@ JC!@# u may be pretty but you is dumb! whoo eee! this book does not bean disappoint!@#! :hyper: jake: by gawd! this is teh waerst!@# why can't i just take a purty whore on down to san fran and town all the way!@ instead i gotta worry about avoiding being hung and hanging out with asshole gus and OMG!@# LIFE IS SO HARD!@#@!# gus might just be the wisest cowboy there ever was. regarding women, signs, you name it!@# also, i didn't realize just how dumb most cowboys were!! i guess the answer is not much schoolin! or any maybe! at "looking at her white arms". they're pretty sweet i guess! :dunno: what was his name? jenson? the new lorena poke wanter? man! just about everyman who wanders into this bean town wants lorena carrot action!@ so what's up with that whore? she gettin married er su-em?
dish: *pissed* it's that low down dirty scoundrel jake calhoon (don't remember his last name). he has beguiled her!
what use is a whore who won't diddle ur carrot?!@# worst whore evar! tbh!!
Chipitah 16: We've never shot any other gun. :dunno: at dinner: and a stew that appeared to contain squirrel and various less familiar meats! this is my varment stew! don't be givin away mah recipes!! i liked joe who only stared straight. don't see why i should turn my head! tbh! you want me to loog at you, why don't you get in front of me! :stuburn:
i always assumed gus was drinking booz out of that jug, but is he drinking buttermilk? wait, no. cuz later he does say it's whiskey. i was gettin confused when call said gus drinks buttermilk by the gallon!
then we get to gus and call. by gawd every time gus opens his mouth i chuckle! the way the reader shouts his voice, it just cracks me up every time. i'm just laying there in bed listening and chuckling like a madman!
call: maud fed me twice.
GOOD THING IT WAS JUST TWICE! IF U'D A STAYED A WEEK U'D OF HAD TO RENT AN OX TO GET HOME ON!
regarding news of dead pedro
THO THE SCAMP DIDN'T GIVE IT TO ME TILL I'D WASTED MOST OF THE NIGHT!@
JASPER WASN'T UP ON THE DETAILS! HE JUST HEARD IT FROM A VIAGRACOON! BUT I ALLOW IT'S TRUE CUZ IT EXPLAINS WHY YOU COULD LOPE IN WITH A BOY AND AN IDIOT AND SAUNTER OFF WITH HIS ... eh REMUDA? i didn't catch what he called his horses. i just looged it up and holy shit, i even spelt it right. that's wad they called them. well all be!
also, ever time he says VAQUEROS i chuckle too because i can't help but think about viagracoons, which are pretty funny animals! ifin animals they was!
I SPEKT BOL WILL DIE ONE OF THESE DAYS! AND THEN WE WON'T HAVE NO ONE TO WHACK THAT DINNER BELL WITH A CROW BAR!@
ok, i'll stop. it's all just gold!
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Post by ditkanate on Mar 21, 2023 20:04:47 GMT
worst new cowboys ever! i feel like dish or jake or someone is like, wait, these 2 idiots who can't even get off a horse are on the crew now?A!@#! WTF kind of crew is this!@?? i'd heard the ol hat creek outfit was differnt but jeez! this takes the potato cake! we gots a long night of ridin ahead! stameenuh is necessry! yessr! i WISH this stinky misty crap was on the darkweb! i don't know how to get on that! ;pea; ;ph3ar; the moon injuns is right scary! *digs a well in a bunch of dry sand* apparently so! just gotta show em a little arm so they get dizzy and forget how to play! *lippy bets a song* YOU ALREADY PLAY ME MY FAVORITE SONG ALL THE TIME I'M NOT GIVIN YOU A POKE! ;stuburn; sheesh. tell a whore stuff and she listens to it and believes it. lmaooooo. dumb whores. well lookee thet! i done rephrased you before you done phrased it! nosir it does not! which is surprising considering the astronomically high levels of bean anticipation we had going in!!@#$ jake is all of us! can u read? no. do you know what the moon is? no. do you know what the sun does? no. do you know anything about women or marriage? no. do you know how to wrangle horses and cows? YESSR EYE RECKON I DO! the horrible owner of the dry bean sure as shit don't appreciate his new nonwhore whore! nosir! GOD DAMMIT I USED TO BE ABLE TO DO SIDE CARROT STUFF!@# ;snooked; IT'S GOT POSSUM IN IT! ;HYPER; i'm not sure his neck contains the usual neck turning muscles! omfgbuttermilk whiskey ;drool; ;bowdown; I REKON PEDRO COULDA DONE HAD A HEART ATTACK. MEBBE FELL OFF A PORCH OR GOT KILT BAH A BEE STING! funny and also give you some needed stamina! and by "give" i mean shoot it into ur person holes via their rock hard coondicks!! gold jerry! its funny, you listed a shit ton of gus gold there and you didn't mention the one i rote down to mention! THAT'S HOW MUCH GOLD THERE IS! Gus: IF EYE DIE YOU'D GET ALL THE MONEY AND WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO SPEND IT! HECK, YOU'D PROBLY SPEND IT ON HEADSTONES FOR SOME OLD BANDITS YOU HAPPEN TO LIKE! oh i also enjoyed the thought experiment of a gus / maude pairing with a passle of deafened kids from all the yelling!
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Post by isthisamo on Mar 22, 2023 14:00:42 GMT
i'd heard the ol hat creek outfit was differnt but jeez! this takes the potato cake! potatoes! cuz they'z irish!@! after many hours of ridin a horse, you really wish you had a good viagracoon injection! i think that was an old cowboy saying probably. you'd just like it to be not stumbleuponable! makes sense. wasn't that a site back in the day? stumbleupon? why, i buleev it was! what's funny is even tho deets might be the least educated among them, he's the most competent! go figure. i can't be gettin a carrot from someone with their lip all dangling and shaking arounf and stuff while they do it!@ i just have to draw a line, and that's where it is! she seems keen to just MAKE him do it now! i imagine ol jake didn't count on that! :bowdown: absolutely. this is the most surprising thing about this book!@ like i didn't really expect it to deliver this well on the beans. i couldn't imagine a book with this much bean talk before reading it!@ well, certainly us 2 at least!@ i dun need no damn book to ride a horse!@ or shoot my pistlero! this really stinks!@#! and, when they take off for montana, this place is REALLY going to suck@!#@ damn it!@# you had me at varmint!@ it seemed like call figured he has the muscles, he just don't care to use 'em. been married to yellypants too long. knocked any notion of turning his head right out of him!@ :dunno: make THAT into a tubepancake@# omfg!@ that's how death gets those tough ol birds. well!@ at least it doesn't involve a needle!@ :whew: exactly!@# so much! oh yeah! that definitely got me!
chapter 17: so i eluded to it above. it seems lori is plannin on making jake stay true to his word. i'll just follow ur asses right on up to montana if i have to!@ :stuburn:
gus: well!@ i just wan a poke!@ lori: gives excuse. gus: well that's no reason not to give me a poke! *repeat* lori: well!@ it is 50 bucks!@#
man gus is good.
also, lippy is pretty horrible!
call is NOT going to care for lori coming along, but he seems also like the kind of person that will just superfrown but also, just shrug and move along. i dun know what i can do about it. i ain't gonna shoot her! :dunno:
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Post by ditkanate on Mar 23, 2023 16:00:31 GMT
potatoes! cuz they'z irish!@! BAH GAWN NUTHIN GITS BAH YOU, YOU IS SHARP AS A POTATO TACK YESSR! definitely a saying fer sure. welp at least we gots these hear beans yessir! exactly what i'm NOT looking for in my interweb! helo bumblebobble arounf and click on some horrible crap! ;hyper;;; don't gotta unnerstand teh moon to knows how t'do stef! also don't forget his sweet stomach hole leak! ;hyper; i bet she ken do it too! i wouldn't bet against her! that's why you gotta be careful saying stuff!!! ;usehaid; we thought our bean anticipation was exaggerated! but instead it turns out it was understated! ;haidsplode; the beaniest of all beanbooks! sounds like lori is just about the only thing holding that shithole town together!@#$ he probably has them, we have just seen no actual evidence to support that theory! can i get all muh vaccines n stef this way??!! u after gettn' injectified with some viagracoondick. and i believe she will follow through on that threat! call be damned! A MAN WHO WOULDN'T CHEAT FOR A POKE DON'T WANT ONE BAD ENOUGH! ;HYPER; i'll take $10 to not say stuff! *falls off stool* he'll put her to work probably! that's all he does evar! more chpta 17 notes: I HATE TO WATCH A WOMAN THINK! lippy, thinking aboot gus: Gus didn't shoot unless he had to, but he was not loathe to whack a man. Gus got off the bed and tucked his carrot back in his pants. CHAPATA 18! Sean weeps while eating the fiery beans You boys must have been raised on satin pillows! jeez, i wrote that down and now i can't remember why guy yelled it. wtf is wrong with my brain? hewp. ;phear; boy, gus is really working everybody to get lori on the trail with them! ;bowdown;
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Post by isthisamo on Mar 29, 2023 10:04:46 GMT
BAH GAWN NUTHIN GITS BAH YOU, YOU IS SHARP AS A POTATO TACK YESSR! i'm pretty sure i've never dun heard of no potato tack! but if'n it's sharp, then i spose ur right! again i continue to be blown away with how much this author can mention and bring up beans! it's pretty impressive! i mean, that IS what i do! but i don't need help!@#@!# so true. this is like, another life saying or whatever. a t-shirt AT LEAST!@# oh yeah!@ boy he is one fine specimen!~@ jake: well that's just plum crazy! the cap'n would never allow it! gus: there ain't nothin he could do about it! he ain't god.
jake: :chinrub: well i'll be. god i hate gus, but he sure has godo ideas!
yeah, they better not be plannin on coming back here after montana. ain't gonna be anything left other than some rats living inside lippy's hole and a couple a pigs that managed to keep scrounging up a snake or two to eat. well!@# the needle way sucks!@# :stuburn: and ol gus is gonna help make it happen. pretty sure gus doesn't see anyway that lori coming isn't bae. like, entertaining problems. a possible poke here or there. all upside in his mind. sticks the 10 bucks in his hole. might as well make this hole useful!@ i like that he thinks this must be one of gus's horrible jokes! we can't really have some lady on the ride with us!@! THAT'S CRAZY!@#!@ WOMEN ARE CRAZY!@# a nice use for a good heavy gun! no reason to waste bullets! when he first called it a carrot, i didn't realize he would use that term exclusively throughout teh book!!! this sucks! but gosh i'm hungry!@# *sings irish tune* cuz bol was puttin snakes in teh stew!! :hyper: he figures that certainly ups his chances at havin a good poke on teh road!@
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 3, 2023 17:03:22 GMT
again i continue to be blown away with how much this author can mention and bring up beans! it's pretty impressive! maybe as they head north they'll run into some o them lentilbeans i been hearin bout! ahh of course that's what you do! it is your tv watching criteria applied to the interwebs! OMG INTERWEBS JUST SHOW ME SOMETHING ALREADY!@#$ GAH I'VE BEEN LOGGED ON FOR SECONDS!#@$@$# *SMASHES BUTTONS ON KEYBOARD FRANTICALLY* i've read some stuff somewhere about this phenomenon. like how our beliefs don't have to be true at all and we all survive just fine. rather than continuing to explain it poorly i'll just end it!@#$ also ;chinrub; i spose i could do some trail pokin and then frop her off in denver or wherever. ain't nobody coming to eat dry beans if'n a lori poke don't come with it on teh side! ;nono; can't they figure out a pizza way to deliver me my vaccines or somethign? all these other ways stink! if nothing else he will chuckle at jake getting womanpecked on the trail. ;hyper; i keeps all muh hush money in my guthole! *lip flaps in teh wind* i mean.... best not have any stews with beans n' carrots in this book, it'll get cornfusing! oh yeah! that's pefectly godo meat right there! we was watching the amazing race the other day and one of the challenges they did was eating come cooked cobra snake! and some of them was crying and stuff about it. and it's like, ehhh... its just some dumb white meat wtf. its shaped a little weird but jeez. i don't think the chances are high! but they are definitely higher if she's along for teh ride! chpt 19ehh... not much happens. newt is friends with crybaby sean now who's daddy beat him and his mom and brother like an irish drum whenever he got the chance. jake's allergic to work some more, and deetz has a bad feelin bout this ride up north. they ain't prepared enuff for it!
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Post by isthisamo on Apr 4, 2023 10:00:29 GMT
maybe as they head north they'll run into some o them lentilbeans i been hearin bout! by gawd~!@ these beans is tiny!@#! it's effective!@ :stuburn: pretty straight forward really. whether i believe the earth is flat or not don't affect my ability to drive a truck from san fransisco to new york city!@ denver is almost as good as san fran! i think. so true. and putting up with holey lippy and surly dry bean owner!@ i'll jes go to mexico and get me a cheap poke and som teyekeela!@ exactly!@# now ur gettin it!@ wtf!@ we can put a man on the moon!@#! right. that's what i mean. it's all upside to gus. watch her stricken all kinds of people. jake, call. you name it!@ it's all entertainment for him and then he'll play her some cards and cheat his way to another poke!@ man he's bae!@# we was already confused by the rattlesnake in thare! CUM COOKED COBRA!~@# well that's worth crying about right there!#@ i'll eat snake, but this is ridiculous!@#!@#
right, if it's just fried up or grilled or whatever, no problem. but soaking it in cum is too far!@ imo. well shit. i thought havin a daddy would be pretty sweet. but now i'm not so sure!@#
i know we'd have been better off without one!@#!@ no offense to our horrible fat stupid lazy ugly father.*
*was listening to our podcast. the one where we start describing dad and ur all "old. fat. crappy. horrible. stinky!@"
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 6, 2023 17:54:08 GMT
by gawd~!@ these beans is tiny!@#! *sean chomps one* aye but thatys still hard thay is! *cries* yes! or religious stuff either. like if i think god is watching me wackwackwack muhself, it don't really matter. or if i believe we become angels after we die. or any number of crazy things. if believing true things was necessary for survival humans would've been extinct a long time ago! she doesn't seem to think so but what does she know! she's never been either place! you always have like them little brown 'uns! a man on the moon and viagra in the coons but can't get me muh vaccine without a horrible poke! i mean, its foolproof! unless jake actually gets so mad he shoots somebody. but other than that all upside. *puts horrific rotted deathstank bowler hat on head* dammit now i'm having ALL kinds of horrible "snake" thoughts!@#$ none will form into a coherent joke tho so we'll just move on. now wait. is this snake cum? do snakes have cum? is it this horrible indian guys cum who is feeding us the snakes? I'LL EAT CUM MARINATED SNAKE BUT I GOTTA KNOW THE CUM SOURCE! ;stuburn; WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, WE'D BE BETTER OFF AS HOMELESS ORPHANS! no offense. chapta 20lori tells jake about the guspoke. jakes like, dammit ya can't cut cards with gus! he cheats! ahh well whatever. *tries to poke her again* *she pushes his carrot away* he doesn't care for THAT!
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Post by isthisamo on Apr 9, 2023 12:50:13 GMT
*sean chomps one* aye but thatys still hard thay is! *cries* is anyone around to take 'em in and feed 'em some actually cooked beans? i feel like no! this town stinks!@# *cries* now granted, there are some beliefs that might lend to some problems for other people. but that doesn't mean that ALL crazy beliefs are a problem. lori now hold on jes one gosh darn minute! now take a look at this here denver. it's got mountains and everything!@ :embarrassed: pretty soon i imagine. or at least when i get my vaccine it will be from a cold heartless robot that could care less about my pain but lies to me and tells me he does. but it's my understanding that he can't hit the broad side of a barn! just accidentally shot a couple people a couple times. it's like he wants to be as horrible as possible!@# that might be the only kind of snake thoughts that exist!@# quite frankly! a surprisingly important detail!@ helps you mentally prepare for the meal. dad: :chinrub: fair. well!@ if ur gonna slap me and come in here all hot and bothered and poke me all dirty!@# you only get one!@# :stuburn:
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 10, 2023 18:30:59 GMT
is anyone around to take 'em in and feed 'em some actually cooked beans? i feel like no! this town stinks!@# *cries* someone should send him to the local restaurant tavern saloon thing for some real food! *its called the dry bean* *he cries some more* if a belief causes one to die prematurely, that belief gets weeded out via natural selection type methods. also in a hunnert years or so they gon be on the cuttn edge of pot legalization! GOD DAMMIT THAT'S A VIAGRACOON IN A ROBOT SUIT!!#@$$@#@#$ well in that case hell! POKE AWAY KEEMOSAHBAY! can't say i don't understand the urge on some level. ;pipe; GAH! FREE WHORES IS TEH WAERST! ch 21: Lori lets the horrible dry bean owner poke her for a tidy sum. reluctantly. but good grief the dumb sap wouldn't stop crying and go away! jake might shoot you! AHH'D RAITHER BE DAID!!! lori: smh ;crazy; whatever man, give me all ur money, poke 2 mins and begone with ya!
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Post by isthisamo on Apr 12, 2023 9:48:45 GMT
someone should send him to the local restaurant tavern saloon thing for some real food! *its called the dry bean* *he cries some more* ah dun need a sahloon teh eatin teh dry beans!@ ah dun do that my good self!@#!@ *cry* sure. but i'm talking about beliefs that cause difficulty for other people who aren't teh believers ovur dare! :B well, she is pretty patient. tbh. i didn't even see it coming!@ eh, i think that's her fridge magnet. also, i don't think you can say that. we can't have been doing this horrible back and forth for 20 years without liking it at least a little bit!@# you wiilll have teh sssssnake thoughtssssss.... well, if she's gonna hold back pokes and still hand 'em out for tons of money occasionally, i guess that lets me off the hook for taking care of her too good!@ jake
good lord the dry bean owner and his only employee are like the worst humans i've ever heard of!@#! JFC!@
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