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Post by ditkanate on Feb 15, 2024 4:02:24 GMT
this hole thing is long! :thissucks: can't even really appreciate a good that's what she said joke right now! more like that's what we say! which isn't really funny!@#!# :grizzledindeed: the that's what she said joke isn't as funny when you're she!!@## ;pea; hey, at least we're in line for tiddies amirite. could be worse. *wakwakwak* ;pst; its like he's never met a true analogy in his life!!@# *quickly piratecuts this part from our upcoming forearm book* *some trackers find a patch of gooey bushes* looks like them durn smart erns was here. *spits* also considering what we find out about Zway in the next chapter, the BUSHES WHACKING GUYS R FUCKING GENIUSES1@#$@#$@#$ i aint never seened a wind this dern bad actually! *ack* ah well, whatcha gonna do. caint be expected tuh see no durn line in this'n hear fog nosir. also *ack* *bob lays in bed an poops himself* *clara comes in and gives him some chicken broth and a handjob* ;wub; it's a right close race! between the D and the acking! well, especially since it's his kid!!@# *luke falls off the wagon laughing at how fucking dumb zway is* Everyone always thought that Biggs Way was the dumbest of the dumb but that much dumbness is a lot of dumbness almost too much to believe she's getting all bleedy again. ;rolleyes; i.... just... ack... want... some... D.... ZWAY hold me up to the bars so i can get some D! OWE KAY :B
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Post by isthisamo on Feb 27, 2024 12:47:49 GMT
the that's what she said joke isn't as funny when you're she!!@## ;pea; i don't feel like calling up research here. is this where we're tubing and being towned on the side now without our IPA? that's the worst she we could possibly be!@ we are?! sweet! that's way better than the last scenario i found ourselves in! i don't know if i have. how would i even know that?! :dunno: :B can't get canceled before we are on! i feel like we've run into this before. :B which probably isn't good. exactly! the dumb ones can't even figure out whacking!@! or bushes!@! well, never before now. now i've seen it. *ack* that would really urk dan. now all this hangin is makin it hard to see too! *ack* clara does seem about the best you could do for wife in this time period, maybe ever! *next chapter spoiler spice* i dun think it's close no more. :B i feel like big zway thinking is back in style. just believe whatever you think is nice and convenient and what you want. life is nicer that way. gotta hand it to this author some more. amazing stuff. brilliant.
ch. 77 july johnson continues to have the baeest times ever july heads off. horse dies. shoots it goes back to town to get another one. then he takes a nap and rolls on a snake and almost loses his leg. new horse is good though. then he roles up on clara and crew and is just kinda dumb founded and then clara tells him elmira was there and popped out his son and he just can't even right now. also, the author let slip that D got hunged a week ago. so i reckon ellie didn't get no D before it happened. :dunno:
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Post by ditkanate on Feb 28, 2024 3:57:14 GMT
i don't feel like calling up research here. is this where we're tubing and being towned on the side now without our IPA? that's the worst she we could possibly be!@ not 100% sure but i think so. let's go with that. *is towned by buffalo hunters without my ipa* i'm sure we'll fuck it up somehow! *gets tossed out of the cave to hunt lions or whatever* *we never got to the front of the line* make some analogy you met take a lie detector test? ;dunno; *we rite a buk* *we quickly cut the entire thing so as not to get canceled* :B HAY. WUD THET GUY DOING BEHIND THUT... EHH... WUD IS THUT? ;headscrutch; right. thank you for clarifying. *ack* HE AIN'T EVEN NO I BURNT HIM UP!@# WELL THAT REALLY BURNS ME UP!@#$@#$ OR IT WOULD IF THE DEVIL WASN'T BUSY BURNIN ME UP HERE IN HELL!@#$@#$ i guess that's dan. this hear rope kinda loogs like a line to me! *ack* heheh. no no certainly not ever. ;floet; THERE ARE TONS OF WAY BETTER WIVES THAN HER THAT GIVE YOU HANDJOBS ALL THE TIME EVEN THOUGH YOU NEVER POOP YOURSELF!@#$ or, you know, hardly ever poop yourself. ;stuburn; we don't know for sure she's acked. unless ur one further than the july snakebit leg one. ;suspicious; that's true actually. hey hey, i'm a totally normal level of smartness and that kid is mine and me and ellie is married. and also i totally understand towning and marriage and everything! i enjoyed the horse salesman making fun of him. THAT IS 100% SPECULATION! I BET SHE GOT SOME D BIGTIME! jeez i sure hope ellie got some d. the only one who's been wanting to D her so far has been horrible luke! smh. *july hobbles up on his sweet pusleg* *bob leaks pus from his head* man, clara has it good! ch 78: lori wants a poke real badgus is back and lori is overjoyed and tries like hell to get poked but just gets hugged n stuff instead. very disappointing. little does gus know clara is super available and still feisty!!@#
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Post by isthisamo on Mar 27, 2024 9:55:49 GMT
not 100% sure but i think so. let's go with that. *is towned by buffalo hunters without my ipa* buffalo hunters are the worst. i can't buleev elmira was so into them. brother! we got pretty close in that line! lets go find another towning line. *eye try to hook electrodes up to some analogy* *it's just a cat and also the electrodes aren't hooked up to anything* I'LL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS GODO BROTHER!@#@! can't be too careful. don't want to be in some boat with rosaanne!@#! that's where ya go wee wee. it's a wee wee tree. :B
maybe that was someone nearby.
that does sound irritating good ol dan. :applerub: right. but how many of those would give you coma handjobs with the pooping? not enough! i'd bet! WOMEN!@ AMIRITE!@? we don't know about her being acked. but big D is acked. according to clara. *drives a stinky cart and holds his wife up so she can talk to huge Ds* i dun remember what he said. i'm sure it was good. that is true. i don't know for sure. maybe D got a last request before bein hunged. but he didn't seem super concerned with towning ellie. and she was pretty sick. not sure the dock would recommend some big D for her at this point. :B
that's a LOT of pus! i wonder if gus'll eventually find out? i assume so. everyone seems to go to clara's. but also, clara will be all, sorry gus! i gotta keep givin handjobs to mah comahub for a while! plus u got urself this whore now. so i think we're godo.
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Post by ditkanate on Mar 28, 2024 15:24:28 GMT
buffalo hunters are the worst. i can't buleev elmira was so into them. as long as they don't drink buffalo buttermilk that's all that matters i think. oh and towns her like a banshee out of hell. *we wander around like terrance and philip until a pack of lions comes along and has their way with us* *their way is mostly eating* trying to give an analogy a lie detector test is like trying to give a cat the CPA exam amirite! would i be a buffalo hunter in this scenario? probably pi. sounds like pi to me. *the apple burns up* BROTHER YOU ARE SO RIGHT! WE ASK FOR SO LITTLE!@#@# oh, well yes. giant D is acked bigtime. done been hanged ovur dare. no more huge ginormous D anticipatory glee for roxanne. ;applerubnotabigd; she was so hoping to igh ack on the D. well. she LIKES the big D! what am i gonna do, NOT hold her up? ;stuburn; not sure ellie is taking doctors orders too seriously rn tho! SCREW U DOC I WANT SOME BIG D! *just had a baby and is bleeding her guts out everywhere* big d: more than i care for tbh! i thought there'd be more beans and less pus! clara's house is right on the main route to ogalalalal so of course they'll see her! maybe gus will put comahub out of his misery and take his place! and be a talkative non coma hubs for a while. then lori can ehh... ;dunno; whore it up in ogalala? be a hired hand on the clara pusranch? ch 79: newt is all sad aboot jakeWHY'D THEY HAS TO HANG HIM IT AINT BE'S HIS FAULT! or something. deetz: ;applerub; theys sorry. gus n call talk about chicks. call: what about the other'n? gus: THEY HAS NAMES! ;stuburn; call: ch 80: elmira is teh waerst!@# *elmira wishes she had died now that she knows her big D is dead* *july walks in* elimira: *superfrown* oh ffs. *regrets bigtime that she had not had zway shoot her* zway i wanna leave. zway: OWE KAY WARE 2? :B Ugh men ask so many questions!## 🤢 zway: it MUST mean they were married. as he had hoped. THARE MITE B INJUNS THIZWAY.... elmira: ;shrug;
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Post by isthisamo on Apr 20, 2024 13:06:02 GMT
as long as they don't drink buffalo buttermilk that's all that matters i think. oh and towns her like a banshee out of hell. i bet they never drank buttermilk. they ain't gots it out on the plains. and hard to get buttermilk out of teh daid buffalo. :B mostly. a bit of clawing and scratching thrown in. :dunno: probably! if the answer is next to impossible then i think so! i suppose you would have to be. :dunno: well, this hell stinks! i can't even shoot and burn people here besides myself!@# :hoppingmad: the plight of men through teh ages i suppose. i guess it was easier back in the day when you could club them all you wanted. or, that made you feel better a lot i bet.
she sure was. it's all she's wanted for years. now she just wishes someone would stop keeping her alive! true zway. that is the wife you has. so. :dunno: is there another big d around that could help this lady out. i'm kinda busy i guess. big d I WAS NOT TOLD ABOUT TEH PUS!@!# that sure would be sweet. i really don't see this book being a happy ending kind o book. but maybe. they didn't WANT to hang him. but theirs rules. we follow teh rules. that's who we is. it's all we got.
newt: he just sucked! bad at being a person. but he didn't need to get hunged!
deetz: maybe so. maybe the injuns will finally be man enough to fucking kill me already!@#@!# JFC!@# they won't kill you nicely. but i think they will kill you.
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Post by ditkanate on Apr 29, 2024 18:38:17 GMT
i bet they never drank buttermilk. they ain't gots it out on the plains. and hard to get buttermilk out of teh daid buffalo. :B oh like you know. ;rolleyes; ofc you don't mild the daid buffalos, you milk the live ones and get their sweet sweet buttermilks!!@# ;usehaid; *scratched and clawed and partially eated* brother, is this boobs? i thought they'd be better than this!!@# ;ack; you can do it, but they probably won't pass! a place where he can shoot and burn people is his heaven! ofc satan wouldn't give him that hellhopedream ;nonono; that's most of whats wrong with modern society! clubbing teh wommens has gone out of fashion!!@# it kept society in line and made all the menfolk feel pretty dern good yessr. well. she may finally get that wish soon! hapee wyfe hapey lyf eye think thutt is rite *holds wife up to the big D for life happiness times to begin* get over yourself d! ooohhh i'm worried about my impending hanging ohhhhh1#@$#@$ STFU AND BIG D ME!@$##$@ GAH!@#$ i guess ellie would scream that if she could do more than whisper and ack and stuff. nope! lured in by horsebeans with nary a pus warning to be seen! ;pea; BROTHER THEY GOT US GUDE! this book is full of happy endings! (they are poopy pushusband hanjobs but still) ;stuburn; i bet some of the cowboys in the whorehouses are getting happy endings too!@#$ maybe so, but vast yee it hath be dost so upon thineself finally! some real men arounf here who can make a fucking decision!@$##@$ Ch 81: more july being a dense dumbheadnot sure what to say here. july is a fucking idiot. and his haid hurts. dun tawk to me. :B i swear, if he goes after ellie.... i thought he was going to there at first! i'm like JFC MAN TAKE A FUCKING HINT@$@#@$%$$% Ch 82: now with MORE july dense dumbheaderywell whaddya know, july finally gets it through his thick skull that maybe there are things in the world besides chasing ellie. :B he's gonna stay at clara's ranch a while. maybe forever? not sure there's anything appealing left to go back to in arkysaw. so july will get to see call n' gus maybe! i wonder if he'll get to towning clara soon. he seems too jumbjim for that. but who tf knows. Ch 83: everybody wants a whoreThe men all want whores in ogalala. one of them even saw a mexican girl lift her skirt crossing the rio grande. that's his one and only glimpse of a naked woman and it has been fueling him for years!@#$ gus already has a sweet whore all locked down tho. *pea* tho she's getting awfully nervous as they get near to clara's place. *some horrible cavalrymen ride up* welp, they say the injuns "killed a buffalo hunter and a woman two days ago." maybe it was some OTHER woman and buffalo hunter tho. they wants some new horses. call and gus say no. cavalry capt: ok fine, no horses. gimme ur nigger. call:
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Post by isthisamo on May 9, 2024 5:12:30 GMT
oh like you know. ;rolleyes; ofc you don't mild the daid buffalos, you milk the live ones and get their sweet sweet buttermilks!!@# ;usehaid; they ain't no live ones! they dun kilt 'em all! i dun know what all teh hubub was about! :headscrooch: :ack: - teh bae cavemen that ever wuz brother! is this not passing?! *we have no idea* *we barely have any idea what is happening* i suppose net. satan's a real jerk. but that's why ol whatshisname is so hoppin mad. exactly. we dun gave them womenfolk too mech power if yer ask me. i think men were just confused and that's how it happened. one minute we're holding them up for some D and then the next they's votin! so true. we all hold our wives up for the D. metaphorically speaking. :B yeah. she really needed her scream voice but lost that quite a while back. damn shame. the number of pus puddles we've been slipping in lately is quite astonishing. i suppose. i guess these are some of teh waerst happy endings i've ever listened to! yeah. i think deets is moping cuz he's thinking maybe all these dumb ol rules ain't all they's cracked up to be. maybe they was good once. but maybe they dun make sense no more. man ellie is bae. yeah. july has just got more and more useless as his useless life goes on. he thinks back to past times and thinks, i think i had a use maybe. :headscrach: i hased a job at least. :B yeah. i think july might stay just cuz he ain't got no gumption to do much of anything. including leaving. i feel like i should chase that dumb bitch of a wife of mine. i mean, shouldn't i? she's my fucking wife! i'm so confused! i hasn't had any buttermilk in WHO KNOWS how long! that's all teh fuel you need when u's a cowboy i ges. yeah, WHO KNOWS what hunter and woman. there's probably dozens out there roming arounf wif teh injuns! :stuburn: for all the hate back then, it seems they is the most competent people out there. they were like gurus and stuff. :dunno: it's like, even if you all weren't all horrible and stuff. we kind of use deets a lot. sort of for everything. so yeah. we'll keep him. :B
Ch. 84: teh boys go to town and gus talks to lori and stuff and is going to buy her a dress i guess. eh. and call is gonna stick wif teh horses or something. eh. i dun remember much of this one. i did listen. i dun think much important things happened. loris is afraid of everything. towns. clara. u name it.
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Post by ditkanate on May 10, 2024 20:50:21 GMT
they ain't no live ones! they dun kilt 'em all! there's a few! ;stuburn; ripip *does the cross sign thing* its hard to keep things straight during an analogy lie detector test, that's true. ffw a few years and we don't even no wad a womenfolk is anymore!@# GOD DAMMIT WHAT DO I HOLD UP TO THE D? ;twak; you can't assume or say D! GAH!@$#$#@ I SURE WISH I COULD CLUB SOMETHING!@#$# well god damn. YOU'RE RIGHT!!@# *looks suspiciously at the chat that contains the fine fine pt sister* well, yeah they aren't the most aesthetically pleasing happy endings i've ever heard read to me!!@# or.. heck maybe they are? ;ballhands; i think deetz is moping cuz stuff is gonna go bad and he knows it. and i doubt he wants to be cold either! indeed he did has a job. he was marginally more useful than roscoe! that's something maybe, though not much. no feet dangles either! hasn't even held her up to any d! zway is more husband than he evar was!@# i think they'd disagree with that. it is the fuel they has! *rides within 60 yards of lori for a quick glimpse* omfgdrooolll show me the scalpless bodies or i dun believe it! ;stuburn; they were so useful, they got kept as useful around the farm workers! a good life too probaby! well she's had plenty of towns! ;snicker; gus bought her a bunch of stuff! can't even carry it all! lori was semi hopedreaming about something happening and her and gus could both just be daid. that would be a lot nicer than him running off with clara. ch 85: teh cavalry gets whuppedpo says its going to be dry. You'll be drinking horse blood if ur not lucky. *Jasper pukes on his horse* newt and the boys go looking for whores but mostly just eat candy. then the cavalry arrive again and try to take jaspers horse. things, uhh, go sideways a bit from there. call: i hate a man that talks rude. i won't tolerate it. i will say, when shit is hitting the fan in this book, it's pretty riveting. i gots no earthly idea what these crazy bastards are gonna do!@#$
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