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Post by ditkanate on May 29, 2023 13:48:01 GMT
WHI!@#!@# I REKON THIS HERE GUS TAWKIN COULD GO ON FOREVER WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR BELOVED LORENA DIDLIN UR GOSH DURN VEGETABLES! WHIIE IFN'S AH HED MAH SAY N' THE MATTER LORI'D GIV UR DURN VEG CROP TA OLD BOL' FER HIS DURN SNAKE STEW!@#@#$ any observable female bit really. omfg ;drool; every cowboy. tho, tbf to the horny cowboys, they very literally could go months or years without seeing one attractive woman! today's world would blow their dumb minds!@#@#$# well, no. but there was a shortage of city leaving planners back then! and ghosts don't pay worth a shit! little bobby and jimmy ain't gonna get in the way of me makin a livin! now go play in the flooded river! go on git! ah, well. my point stands. ;stuburn; or, peach's point i guess. cest last vies as they say rite! seems he was born in the wrong place and time! right! we'll know soon enough if it was an ok hike. before we move on from the sean snakedeath, there was a line i enjoyed a bit. the guys who hadn't crossed the river yet, were not overly plussed about their still having to cross the snake infested river fates! "it seemed to them the men who were already on the other side were the luckiest men in the world". ;hyper; GD MAN I WANT TO CROSS NOT THINKIN BOUT SNAKES@@@#$ *pea* she should as the horrible trembly eyelid captain if a straight whiskey boat will be coming along any time soon. she durn near the perfect woman! course not, they aint spoke a word to her! just doing the marriage prep thing. ;rubhands; well son, i hope you enjoy legs dangling over you whilst you eat alone and the table. also, purely out of curiousity no other reason at all, can i ask if you like buttermilk? ch 37: roscoe nearly gets married on accident louise: what town hired you to be a deputy sheriff anyway ;suspicious; You going to help or you going to just sit up there looking like an idiot (i'm thinking the latter!) The skinny ones last longer than the fat ones. had to hitch a mule up to him and drag him out of the house before I planted him! and i've planted a lot of men! Boy this peach look alike sure does like cornbread um, you got any, ehh, bacon or anything? :/ :\ louise proposes roscoe stay and they get married. Roscoe (after a lengthy confused pause): i don't WANT to! (for some reason the way he said this just had me rolling) Are you feisty or are you a one-timer? well.. i'm usually a NO timer! roscoe is like P.I. has a slightly more functional brother or something. ch 38: july n' joealso sedgewick teh stuck in teh boggy river bugman / soon to be preacherman. we're all goin to the grave. those in a hurry are bound to get there sooner. joe: i figure he spotted a bug!
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Post by isthisamo on Jun 4, 2023 4:46:03 GMT
WHIIE IFN'S AH HED MAH SAY N' THE MATTER LORI'D GIV UR DURN VEG CROP TA OLD BOL' FER HIS DURN SNAKE STEW!@#@#$ eww.
WHIE! U WOONT NO WUT TEH DO WITH A VEG CROP IFN IT WERE A SNAKE BITIN UR ASS! yes sir it would! they ain't even got any magazines er nuthin!! better off i imagine. man, olden times were hard as af! ngl. *rides a carrot on a stinky hay bed* *gets 2 bucks* well, i suppose it does. peach ain't the type to not have her points stand! no sir. also, i just gotta say. again. and again. that was the craziest shit i evar did see and i seen like 50 men at least kilt by injuns and mexicans in various ways! seen a water buffalo trample a man! but i ain't never seen no snakes do anything like that! whoo eee! i supposen he was. somebody needs teh get that feller a phone with a nice poker app on it. :B still up in the air. wait 'n see if i have horrific pain. that was lucky! a brief kind of luck. but luck none the less. their immediate prospect of getting swarmed by poisonous snakes is over while ours is just starting!! :snooked: <- an immediate threat took me a while to decipher your horrible typing up there, but i think i got it. :B
and yes she should! THIS IS TEH WAERST HORRIBLE MARRIAGE AND SON ESCAPING I'VE EVER HEARD OF!@# WHERE'S ALL TEH SWEET RAPING?!@#
elmira i guess. i think so, yes! an important question for any lady deciding about marriage. he seems to wear his uselessness on his sleeve. she seems quite a bit friendlier than peach. just wants a man she can town that ain't too much trouble. tho the idea is growing on him the more he thinks about it. i certainly don't care for my current task!@ i'll tell you that! *heads off towards texas with the goal of just not dying* good stuff. i'm wondering. is this really what women were like back then?! i guess in a rough and tumble world where you or your husband might likely die at any moment or whatever else it produces a wide variety of crazy women as a result. that was amazing! seems like joe was right.
ch 39: back to the cow camp the ol snake killing is not leaving the minds of teh cowboys anytime soon.
i wish they'd quit talkin about it. U GOT IS ALL WRONG!! GOTTA GET IT OUTA THEIR SYSTEM! TALKINS TEH ONLY WAY!
i guess they has quite a few rivers ahead and their like, can snakes do that in all of 'em!@?
whatshisname: I'M STILL WORRIED BOUT INJUNS. THERE'S ONE IN MA HAID!
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Post by ditkanate on Jun 5, 2023 3:01:07 GMT
eww. WHIE! U WOONT NO WUT TEH DO WITH A VEG CROP IFN IT WERE A SNAKE BITIN UR ASS! maybe. probably get a lot more done! fr fr mgb, fr fr. livin the life! whoo girl power! that sean must be teh unluckiest boy i ever did durn see! also, his death freaks everyone out for weeks!@# *they get to the next river* :-\ you go... naw man you go ahead. age before beauty! or whatever. ;floet; oh he'd totally be one of those guys how long we gotta wait? what's the dengue incubation period like? WE AREN'T GETTN ANY YOUNGER OVER HERE!@# the snookingest of all teh snooks that can snook!!@#$@#$ crazy how much dropping one letter can fuck up a whole sentence!@ sorry bro! A WIFE ON THE RUN HAS NEEDS DAMMIT!!@# probably doesn't help that he sounds like goofy the disney dog, but dumber! ahhyuuhhh. gaaarshhk!! pretty reasonable actually! and realistic! i mean, you ain't TERRIBLE looking. skinny, which is good for the easy planting. dumb as af o'course, but i can work with that. seems that is a LOT of people's goals in this region, at this time. it's very deathy there! who knows! it's possible. not sure this book is meant as a documentary per se. but i also don't think it's completely unrealistic. joe was so fascinated by him! *they get to teh next river* gus: WHAT'S THE SNAKE SITUATION!!@@#$@#$ ur mama probably told u ya'd get stoled by one when u was a baby if they see a mouse snake they'll all be climbing the trees at this point!@#$ i think he said mouse snake... not sure if that is a real kind of snake. ch 40 back to loriand miserable jake. lori is enjoying herself now on the trail. probably everything is better than the corn husk whorelife in the dry bean. this is like cake on a picnic! jake is fussy and whines and complains and lori mostly just and and even lets him get a little poke in there. ahh well i've been with worse. you ever seen a hangin?
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Post by isthisamo on Jun 5, 2023 13:21:56 GMT
maybe. probably get a lot more done! only trouble is there ain't much that needs doin! that WAS olden times girl power times! maybe let's see if there is another way. maybe the injuns built a bridge up yonder! let's go check it out. without a doubt. everyone: how the hell is he getting jobs and women and stuff!@?? apparently it can be quite a long time. which is nice. i think so! certainly the most literal of all teh snookings!@#! i think that is what you mean. me: she's teh captain now?! :headscrootch: :B exactly! i can't ask for it. wouldn't be proper. but if you just take it then there's nothing i can do and everybody wins! well! i'm mostly a no timer!@# still one of the best lines ever. fr fr. all these women i'm like, wtf! these women is crazy as af! ngl!@ and then later i'm like, well, actually. that makes sense. they're just bein sensible really. they ain't got much to work with tbh. and we haven't even had anyone die of cholora or anything like that! makes me think of galaxy quest. we based this completely on your historical documents! he was pretty fascinating, to be fair! turns out a more important question than they had previously realized!! also, that statement isn't made in sarcasm or anything. :B i believe ur correct and also i cannot give you any enlightenment on teh realness of said snake type! damn it! now i'm behind! MOVE UR ASS MISTER!@ :jkgay:
nevermind! listened bigtime! by golly jake is horrible. he is lucky lori is so laid back. jfc! if i take a couple swigs of whiskey will shut the fuck up already!
ch 41 wagon times bol is OUT! i really didn't think ya'll would go this far! just figured we'd ride a waze and then head back. tbh. but this has gotten too far and too dumb for me! ol lippy is lucky to be alive. newt thought he was daid for like 5 minutes or so while everyone was worried about the wagon. so anyway, i don't know who's in charge of cookin up snake stew now! :dunno: no news on the mouse snakes.
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Post by ditkanate on Jun 7, 2023 15:22:54 GMT
only trouble is there ain't much that needs doin! ai done did all my doins! *reads magazine* honestly. they can't even get across creeks now without some kinda incident!@#$ spend two minutes alone with him and he'll charm teh pants right off ya! sweet! lots of dengue anticipatory times!@# ;hyper; wait so when you say he was snooked, you mean... snooked. like with actual live snooks ;yes; to death? to death. *maybe does the catholic cross gesture* what kind of wild west whiskeyboat men are u anyways jeez!@# *drops something and bends over* ahhhh? *the men look away* GOD DAMMIT@@#$$#@ why, he's mostly gone to waste!!!@# if ur husband prospects are limited to whoever happens to wander across your field out in the middle of nowhere... you basically take what you can get! and that aint much! well, its roscoe! or a rattlesnake, i guess. sorry roscoe i've decided to bunk down with big Ed instead. or dysentery! or dengue... despite all teh skeeters! nope! also teh fear isn't even 100% irrational that deetz is hasing now! google is showing me a rat snake. otherwise it is all pics of snakes eating mice and rats and things! but a rat snake is close enough. and apparently harmless, so that fits what gus was tryin t'say. he's also lucky she's been with such horrific men that he shines in comparison! ahhh he don't slap me THAT hard. he is the highest quality of all the low quality men! *dreams sweet sweet dreams of whacking the dinnerbell as he passes back through lonesome dove* i guess it is a lesson not to take a rotted wagon on a long trip! tho i'm not sure a sturdy wagon would have survived that either. i think it is a better lesson about taking horrible people with you! P.I: OH HE'S A MUD HEAD AINT HE! also seems most of their supplies are rooned. so i hope the snakes are plentiful and easy to catch! but not plentiful in rivers! *everyone starts eyeing the pigs* ch42: gus gon wildYOU'LL REMEMBER BOL'S COOKIN FONDLY ONCE UR POISONED!@#$#@ Lippy wiped some mud off his head. I never learned how to cook. I only learned how to eat! lippy is so great and useful. gus and call head to san antonio to buy a new wagon and gus don't take kindly to bartenders who don't take kindly!@# why, its enough to make u wonder if you was even on the right side of things back when you's was rangerin! at least a couple of teh locals remember them even if the bar owner doesn't. everything is gettn so civilized we dun fit in no more! ok this is stupid and irrelevant but listening to this chapter was the first time ever taht i put together why the Texas Rangers are called the Texas Rangers. but now i get it! also its possible i'm functionally retarded. :B
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Post by isthisamo on Jun 11, 2023 19:18:45 GMT
ai done did all my doins! *reads magazine* can't see how to complain about teh ai over here. *maybe reads a pamphlet* :B that's true! i imagine next stream they come to someone will drown! shucks! he sure will. how bout now?!@ :hyper: now? i guess this is pre-dengue times. indeed!@ even tho i have appreciated teh snooking smiley for many much years. i never really ever thought of that as a literal possibility with snooks!@#!@# I'M GONNA HAVE TO FIND ME A DIFFERENT FUCKING BOAT!@#!@# :snooked: waste of a perfectly good, albeit dumb, quiet man! i didn't really think of that as an option. but i suppose it is. i don't think roscoe would mind too much really. alright ma'am. all be on mah way! i guess that could still be coming! almost all fear at this time in history is fucking rational!@#!@# jfc! rat snake mouse snake. same thing. some dumbass snake! that'd make these fellers piss in their durn pants if they seen a swarm of 'em now! so true. and he DID get her out of teh dry bean! so that got him a lot of credit i think! course he does! might go and give her a good whack for old times sake and also cuz i jes like it so!@ like being a mud head is something you get to call people all teh time in these great times!! also, i think you nailed the various lessons that that could have been but i'm not sure how many lessons these guys are learning! gus is gonna have to protect them pigs with his gun that he whacks people in the haid with! my dumb ol self still hassa listen teh this one. and he did! he did listen! pretty great.
AYE GOD!@! I SHOULDA POPPED THAT OWNER TOO!
i tell you what. if i run into gus i think i'll show hin a bit o respect!
and which texas rangers are called teh texas rangers? you mean the baseball team? or like, the actual texas rangers we're reading about?
you might be so retarded ah can't quite figure what u tawkin bout. :B
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Post by ditkanate on Jun 13, 2023 16:06:00 GMT
can't see how to complain about teh ai over here. *maybe reads a pamphlet* :B be careful! sometimes pamphlet readin' can get you cultified! but not in a regular way! they'll slip on some frog guts and whack their head and get eaten by snapping turtles or sumn! omg are we mid-dengue times now? ;hyper;;; ;pray; if i did consider it, it was only with the two snooks, one on each haid side! not like a whole nest passle of em in a river!@#$ ack! well yeah! cuz she ain't even found ONE yet! ;hyepr; well eye dont wanna compete with no snake! nosir. *rides off horribly and slow* if fear then rational! i guess i rephrased that. again it is a case in the point against people who insist now times are teh waerst or whatever. like, yeah... no. doubt it would even take a swarm! they really didn't have much in the way of entertainment back then!! you go on a long enough cattle drive'n sooner r later somebody gon be a mudhead yesr. *gets him whisey teh fastest as anyone has gotted anyone whiskey evar* teh baseball team! cuz, like, texas rangers! were a thing in texas! a big thing i guess! and now it is just a dumb old baseball team. ch 43: roscoe bae timesRoscoe wishes he hadn't found this cabin. Wishes he had got stung somewhere else. Throws up all day in a wagon. Godo times. I got a rabbit in the frog you want me to fry it up. boy, i think roscoe would be daid if he hadn't kept stumbling upon capable womenfolk to help him out!@#$
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Post by isthisamo on Jun 14, 2023 15:06:55 GMT
be careful! sometimes pamphlet readin' can get you cultified! yeah! that is a risk! i think i best just avoid all pamphlets to stay on the safe side. ain't no good can come from no pamphlet i always say! those all seem like pretty good threats based on the roscoe chapter! :hyper; i'm not sure how you know really. absolutely. i can say with many much confidence that i never thought o no nest passel o snakes attack!! and also i have to agree that i can't think of anything more snookingest than that! :weary: i suppose she hasn't. just shitty boats full of the least fuckiest whiskey boys i ever heard of!@ *considers his pace quick that is slower than a barefoot girl on foot* :B well sure! i could die at any time by any number of horrible methods and with very high likelihood. but at least i could say things like "niggers eat turtles." and the only response would be "they eat most anything. i guess they can't be choosy." and no outrage whatsoever. that's true. these boys 'd be spooked by a worm about now! that's a good point! whackin things was a top pastime i imagine. so it would seem. and that's one of the best outcomes you could hope for as said cattle driver!! you give that man the whole bottle. i tell u what. ok. i was pretty sure that's wad u was talk bout. i suppose i never gave much thought about what the hell the team namers of that team were goin on about. everything in texas is dumb and old and hot and stupid. :dunno: i think maybe i thought that. i think you might be right! he sure would be hungry and i imagine possibly have dysentery, which i'm pretty sure is fatal if ur in the middle of nowhere and possibly even if ur in the middle of somewhere but in 1856 or whenever the hell roscoe is. also this girl is one capable young girl!
but i was chuckling a bit through this great roscoe chapter. *old man drinks all his whiskey and just goes inside* WELL THIS STINKS! *sleeps outside the house* *listens to him town some young girl* I SURE HOPE ALL OF TEXAS ISN'T LIKE THIS!@# :snooked: also, awaking to a facefull of wasps while riding a horse might be some sort of top nightmare for you! "it was a rude awaking." a man couldn't be rubbing spit on himself with a girl watching! - so true. just wouldn't be right.
HOW COME U'D A FOLLOW? :B *roscoe's brilliance shines* ol sam hadn't kept her around just because she could fry up a possum in the dark.
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Post by ditkanate on Jun 15, 2023 2:03:42 GMT
yeah! that is a risk! i think i best just avoid all pamphlets to stay on the safe side. ain't no good can come from no pamphlet i always say! pretty sure that is some safe life advice that won't steer you wrong! the chances of you missing out on something super duper sweet by avoiding pamphlets is vanishingly small. you did say you were coming down with something... ;hyper; i guess that settles it! we haven't checked in on elmira in a while. maybe she's been getting railed real good. i hope so for her sake. well! his horse is older! ;stuburn; WELL THEY DO! ARE YOU TELLING ME THEY DON'T!!@#$#$@ so its racist to state facts now ok ok. ok. ;pst; lets just move on. come on in and meat teh mrs! *everyone runs off screaming in terror and blind panic* indeed. ;snicker; yeah lippy is the lucky one so far! ;whew; just a mudhead if i did ever think about it, which i can't recall ever doing, that might have been my thoughts as well. which is kind of my point! like there's this whole history and meaning to it but now no one thinks or talks about it! its almost like a meaningless word. i couldn't BELIEVE the capableness. like, wow! i hope that old drunk gave a LOT of skunkhides for her. a steal! i think mid 1800s is close. and yeah i don't think you wanted to have dysentery anywhere really at that time. tho if you DID have it, somewhere is better than nowhere, but still not great or a survival guarantee! *gives him whiskey* surely this will get me a sweet possum dinner invite. EVERYONE KNOWS THE MUDSPIT IS TEH BEST! ;stuburn; oh? why else did he keep her? :B Ch 44: gus'n'callgus, regarding PI's horrible eyesight: I DON'T KNOW WHAT KEEPS YOU FROM RIDIN OFFA CLIFF! Oh don't worry I'll just stay behind with Lorena and play cards. Now call makes a reference to either him and/or his demon bitch horse dying before he gets to Yellowstone. more foreshadowing? maybe they all gonna die. ;dunno; oh also gus cried. and call does NOT want to believe newt is his. nosir.
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Post by isthisamo on Jun 15, 2023 20:12:18 GMT
pretty sure that is some safe life advice that won't steer you wrong! the chances of you missing out on something super duper sweet by avoiding pamphlets is vanishingly small. that's what i would think. nothing but cults, pyramid schemes, and time shares!! i guess i meant more i dun know how ANYONE knows. not you specifically in this specific instance. :B *keeps arguing* :B :dunno: we jes want fer her, what she wants for her good self! cuz we're good ol boys ourselves! he thinks that girl is some sort of crazy speed demon! good plan. i don't know that they do anymore. i think mostly just monster drinks and malt liquor now. :dunno: mrs. worm: well that's just plain rude! :stompingmad: :weary: some things ain't changed much i suppose. well i got some mud in my lip been there a couple days now. buh i reckon that ain't so bad as bein daid! it's also possible that i thought maybe they were named after texas walker texas ranger. :dunno: but yeah. ain't nobody know what a texas ranger is no more. i would have figured, if pressed, that they was like texas's version a state trooper. :dunno: she was like bumping into a girl scout but instead of having cookies for sale she can catch and cook stuff and run fast and eh. whack a toad with a stick. and some other things too.
and also yes, i dun think civilization could help you much back then except at least you could be sick in a bed and have water and stuff and maybe have a chance of recovery not laying under a tree in the texas sun! yeah. he could work on his bartering skills. :B apparently they do! i didn't. but then i ain't a cowboy in texas nor a runaway supergirl formerly used for towning and such. i imagine if roscoe hadn't listened in he might have been hard pressed to come up with it. well by golly! she too young fer that! i'm more of a no timer myself. that IS the chapter and also at gus. yeah. the foreshadowing is quite heavy that things ain't gonna go so great. at least not for these ol timers i imagine. i hope ol lorena makes it to san fransicso or wherever she wanted to go.
also at gus staying back to play cards. call has no understanding of how much better an activity gus just found over riding a dumb ol horse into a dumb ol town so he can get disrespected by some asshole modern times city barkeeps.
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Post by ditkanate on Jun 19, 2023 3:25:51 GMT
that's what i would think. nothing but cults, pyramid schemes, and time shares!! leave it to us to throw away the only lumpsforlifenostringsattached pamphlet! is it dengue? DO I HAVE DENGUE!@#@#$ *no one knows or has any idea how to possibly know* exactly! nothing more and nothing less. probably a combo! she is a demon, yes. but roscoe is also the slowest horse rider in the history of the wild west!!@# well yeah. i think that is the modern day equivalent of turtles maybe. she wanted some meating! also i'd like to see a worm stomp! ;hyper; that's like a newfangled health treatment! he's getting that good natural microbes and minerals and stuff!! they probably are now! but once upon a time they was like gods down there! maybe she was the first girl scout! now they just teach them cookie selling but back in the early days they told them real skill stuff! SOMEBODY CALL A DOCTOR! doc: move this man inside into a bed! OK DOC WE DONE THAT WHAT NOW? doc: that's all i got. that'll be thirty dollars. those skills have lessened in importance since the invention of calamine lotion. he's just out in the yard racking his brain for an answer to taht question. hmm... she's thin.. maybe she can clean hard to reach spots or sum'n? thissuns a real head scratcher doozy! now she doesn't even think she'll get as far as denver! ch 45: gus n' lori lori: why'd you come over here u didn't need to. gus: hoping for a poke! hey at least he's honest I don't like buttermilk THATS YOUR PROBLEM! YOU DON'T LIKE ANYTHING! NOT EVEN POKES! Don't send dish I don't want dish around here. YOU WOMEN SURE ARE HARD ON THE MEN WHO LOVE YOU yeah yeah just send the black fella i was also wondering why gus didn't shoot bluey duck! i think that decision is going to come back and bite him!!
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Post by isthisamo on Jun 27, 2023 15:40:11 GMT
leave it to us to throw away the only lumpsforlifenostringsattached pamphlet! wait! come back! we shout, but the pamphlet is gone. never to give out sweet info again! exactly! it's impossible to know. you just wait and see if pain comes. :jkgay: right! i kinda like that he can't really perceive it hiself. well, i suppose it is! i reckon. i guess before teh meating would be good. for teh stomp. ;B why hell! ur like an oldtimey doctor! well, i suppose they was. that's what i'm thinking yes! again, very fortunate for roscoe! i'm pretty sure that yes, that is how it was! maybe the doctors were subtle about it. like give them sugar pills and stuff to make it look more like treatment. :dunno: i guess so! now it's important to know about drug stores and how there are tons of 'em and you can go to them and get stuff and stuff. :B i mean, that's probably true to. :duno: well, it don't look good quite frankly. now they got a killer injun on the loose! but he's teh one who needs to track down that big ol injun i shulda shot! damn it! i guess it'll prolly be me. yeah, it was like he was so taken aback that it was blueduck that he couldn't decide. and if blueduck had made a move to shoot he would have. but he didn't and just rode off. chapter 46: Call. a long chapter of call feeling like a failure for maggy. some gus in the beginning telling him about blueduck and dish being upset and dish. i think it's pretty great how much she hates him. OMFG!@ DON'T SEND THAT DISH! HE GIVES ME TEH CREEPS!!
also, i feel like this blueduck is gonna be a problem. i don't pretend to know who he gown kill, but i reckon it's someone. maybe more'n one.
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Post by ditkanate on Jun 29, 2023 0:34:48 GMT
wait! come back! we shout, but the pamphlet is gone. never to give out sweet info again! the useful pamphlets are VERY few and far between. we blew it bigtime! i stubbed my toe! is THAT dengue?? IS IT? IT HURTS! HELP1@#@#$#$ we'll never know for sure! *spits tobacky on ur wound* *saws a leg off* that'll be $30 mister. *gets shot* :B good for roscoe, bad for current day dudes who could be eatin' some good fried varmints!! but no! oooh see, now ur thinkin. usin that doctor learnin you done got at teh university fancy school! *drew runs around looking for oregano instead* also i guess now drug stores sell sweet butt plugs and stuff! thought you'd like to know for some reason blueyduck! she could still like a poke or two regardless ;stuburn; actually teh answer was dusty newt!! also we got a better explanation in 46. by the time blueyduck told gus who he was gus wasn't 100% sure he could get him without getting wounded in the process. and he ain't too keen on travlin with a wound! nosir. i thought gus came up with a pretty logical explanation for not sending dish. YOU'LL END UP IN A GUNFIGHT WITH JAKE IF HE COMES BACK AND THAT AIN'T GOOD FOR NOTHIN! not that either of you are likely to hit anything ;rolleyes; if he finds newt n' lori he'll skin em alive! but he ain't after lori nosir. he after them rangers yessr. also gus ate some beefsteak and beans! BEANS!! ;hyper; pi: WHAH YEW LUK LAHK YA JUS ROLLED OUTTA A FLOURSACK! :B *gets kicked by horse for billionth time* :B ch 47the cowboys would make jokes all the way to Montana about things he might have tried to do to her he was even sure what you were supposed to TRY to do. he had a vague cloudy notion but that's about it. sure would like to talk to her tho! The new cook aint much taller than a rock! maybe u should cook beef, its what we're used to worms make good butter. slugs too. newt: blank stare emila I SURE MISS BISCUITS! i'll make u something better than biscuits omg pleez nett wormz. *begins to think capt was a bit hasty in his cook choosing*
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Post by isthisamo on Jul 7, 2023 13:32:25 GMT
try to blow one out here, before breakfast at sunrise with the thines. the useful pamphlets are VERY few and far between. we blew it bigtime! we didn't even know we were blowing it! that's tough. wait. wait. i think i recall mosquitos were involved... was that just what happened to my toe? :B also, dengue pain is kinda specific. all ur bones hurt and you sometimes have a painful itchy rash i think. this is like one of our mottos. shit. you took to that good!! :shoocked: tho $30 sounds a bit steep for that time and some spit. that's very disappointing. not that i imagine i would ever be one of those current day dudes. i guess we have 2 different ways of looging at being a cowboy doctor! *he's clearly allergic to oregano* :B
boy. thanks for that tidbit!! now my luggage will be full up!!
it just makes sense! love what you do, and u'll love a lot more of the time that you has. yep. that was newt talking to lori. well this is not going well. :B that does seem a bad plan especially without one of those sweet doctors traveling with you to spit on it! yeah that worked. also i think he was kinda hoping ol bluey wouldn't come back for her. i guess he WAS after lori. i imagine she's a means to an end. killin rangers. but :dunno: maybe they like a good poke too. i was cracking up in this chapter. a vague cloudy notion. good stuff. as soon as pi came along that was fantastic! BOWZ! HE DUN RIDE A HORSE! SAYS HE DUN RIDE NO ANIMAL. *totally confused*
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Post by ditkanate on Jul 11, 2023 3:13:30 GMT
try to blow one out here, before breakfast at sunrise with the thines. you did it! it's blown! like you stubbed your whole body on a mosquito? yeah its probably more like $3 tbh ur one a them dern no timers aint ya! you: stocked up on sugar pills me: has a saw :B whew taht is going to save me, like, a LOT of time. you lori: but, i DON'T like what i do. gus: EXACLTLY! lori: newt: *i'll just stand over here* *falls asleep* ah, i see by some comments below that maybe you listened to 48 also... cuz it is a tip that lori gone and jake and dish almost got in a damn gunfight anyway! probably she is rangerbait. ;dunno; :B gus: U DONE HIRED US A PHILOSPHER! Ch 48: po tempo wins them over to his bird egg pie. WHY IF'N AH NEW YALL LIKED THEM OMELETS I'DA WHIPPED U UP SOME WELL DERN!@! then his flavorful stews finally get them to try the grasshoppers. WEL GOL DERN I NEVER DID DONE SEE A BUNCHA COWBOYS EATN BUGS! po to gus: i hear you make good biscuits. also worms make good butter. BY THE TIME I GET BACK Y'ALL BE NIBBLIN ON SPIDERS N CENTIPEDES!!@##$@$@# u got enough shells? I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY'S IN THE GANG! IF I RUN OUT I'LL THROW ROCKS AT EM! I SHOULDA SHOT HIM WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE! honestly this whole thing is pretty much jakes fault. he is teh waerst!!@#$ ;hyper; WELL SHE WOULDN'T COME! AND I HAD A COUPLE GODO HANDS!@# ;stuburn;
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Post by isthisamo on Jul 13, 2023 12:39:51 GMT
you did it! it's blown! :vernoog: i think it's more like a mosquito lit all ur bones on fire. :dunno: alright sonny. u is fixed! that'll be 2 bits!
pi or roscoe: bits'a what?
if we're still talking about eating varments, yes! it's possible we're both right here. just a couple of majorly different patients here. yessire bob. i ain't gots teh drive to who knows how many stores! i feel like it's different if ur mostly just done to vs. actually doing stef. :dunno: i'm no expert here. in newt's defense. not only has he practically never seen a woman before. he's never even seen men talk them either. that might help. :dunno: oh! u say words!
shit. interupted here... i'll come back and finish this post later... if u read this before then i aplogives for not getting past this point. also yes i did. and the next one!! nevermind! all good. we're back! dish was net pleased jake sucks so much and also has lori. or well, had. well, she's sweet townable rangerbait. 1 grasshopper in gut is better than empty gut. also, taste good. this guy is full of sweet tidbits. are these all true?! or just true enough if ur a starving cowboy?! i believe i was chuckling quite a bit at this one. of COURSE it's all jake's fault!! he IS teh waerst! now gus is gonna go and get hisself killed! but i reckon he'll take out an injun er 2 before all's said and done. but not before lori gets the bujeebers towned out of her!
ch. 49 lori gets the bujeebers towned out of her: man, she had a horrible long ride and pees herself and stuff and then finishes it up with some indian townings!! this gal just can't catch a break! i chuckled a bit through this one too. maybe i wasn't supposed to. :dunno:
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Post by ditkanate on Jul 19, 2023 2:03:13 GMT
i think it's more like a mosquito lit all ur bones on fire. :dunno: damn, that mosquito HARSH! I'M MOSTLY A NO BITTER!! indeed! different tools in the same toolkit! *runs frantically into store* out of breath at customer svc: WARE DO U KEEPS UR BUTTPLUGS, I STILL GOTS SUITCASE ROOM!@#$@#$@#$ ;pipe; so, ur saying lori hasn't really done anything! so there's nothing for her to like! sounds right. she needs a different saying i guess. "if ur gonna get done to, might as well enjoy it" ;dunno; yeah, newt was a very poor guarding lori choice by gus tbh. he didn't have a chance. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE WORDS THING! JFC YOU DONE LOST HER!@#$ ;screamears; dish a double duty bait snatch! damn, gooeyduck is good. yeah i think worms MIGHT make ok butter if you know how. and also you are totally starving. and don't have butter. it is like she found the whiskeyboat men only they was injuns! i mean, yeah. that's about the jist of it. i don't THINK ur supposed to chuckle at this one. ;pipe; *ur giggling like a schoolboy* wife: is gus saying something funny again? u: naw, lori is about to get raped to the RAFTERS!@#$@#$ gooeyduck: MonkeyJohn would really like that yellow hair of yours. (hint: he really does. like, a lot) Gooey duck has a finger bone necklace. easier to get the rings off! it's easy if you know how to do it like snapping a little twig. also, just, ya know fyi, if you try anything i'll cut a hole in ur stomach and pull one of ur guts out and stake it about 20 yards out so u can watch teh coyotes eat ur guts. JFC MONKEY JOHN THAT IS ENOUGH OF A TASTE JFC GET A HOLD OF URSELF!@#$@#$@#$ i mean it was obvious this was not gonna go great for lori but whoooo nelly. also i have a real bad feeling about gus! real bad! ch 50: july is a dumbjimwelp, back to july. he gets to fort worth and mails a dumbfuck letter to marlena or whoever. asks about the skeeters (sketers? nah skeeters). then gets a letter from peach! who basically tells him his wife's a leaving whore and roscoe is a dipshit and keep goin for jake. so of course he decides to go look for marlena ;facepalm;. dude, everone on the planet knows she don't want you and don't wanna be married to you! HULLO! MCFLY! anyway, pretty good line the boy: maybe roscoe knows where she's! july: i doubt roscoe knows where rosco's at. hell he mighta headed east outta arkansas! he ain't much for havin a sense of direction.
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Post by isthisamo on Jul 21, 2023 15:04:26 GMT
damn, that mosquito HARSH! yes. it's teh least friendliest mosquito. i could whittle ya somthin! :dunno: i always imagined in the old doctor tool bag, stethoscopes, forceps, and stuff. but ur probably more right. :B sir! try to remain calm! *escorts me to buttplug isle* in the isle i start to calm slightly do to the soothing nature. i guess i am saying that. also, that saying you came up with is a great sportin girl sayin! pimps 'n stuff should put that up in their pimping offices and stuff. i ges gus was thinking she didn't really need guarding. but maybe have someone ogle her for a while would be good. :B also, i believe he was only thinking at least newt wouldn't try to town her cuz he's too dumb for that! yeah, is dish gonna run off and follow gus? or just be hoppin mad all the time. feel like the latter is more his MO. well, there's a reason he's teh goodest injun there is! exactly! under the right conditions it IS. and those conditions you described are basically all these cowboys! or soon will be. again, if gus coulda talked her in to liking all these injun poundings she's be way better off! well, i dun think i chuckled at that part! i don't really remember! also! if anyone can handle being gang raped by indians it's some sportin girl who's put up with horrible townings she doesn't want her whole life!! :stuburn: oh man! gooeyduck was even more horrible than i thought he'd be. i sure miss the olden days where i would have just had to snag ur scalp and be done with it!! :snooked: man most people in this book are so dumbjim. joe: i don't really understand why he wants to be arounf my mom all the time. she just yells at him and makes fun of him and stuff. :B i also get teh impression that july isn't getting too many pokes out of her. but maybe he is. :dunno: maybe that's why he loves her so much. but that doesn't seem right based on what we've been told.
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Post by ditkanate on Jul 21, 2023 19:16:46 GMT
i could whittle ya somthin! :dunno: can he whittle the doc 2 bits? he mighta had a couple more things. but he DEFINITELY also had a saw. maybe one of those sticks you bite down on during sawing times. some whisky. whew. might have just salvaged this situation! i mean look... it's happnin either way darlin. well, yeah he didn't have many greta lori guarding choices to choose! DON'T THINK I AINT STEWIN ABOUT THIS BIGTIME!@#$@$# dish as he continues to do cowboy type stuff. what i wouldn't give for a lil wormbutter! i won't meat ur mrs but i damn sure will spread her out all over muh biscuits!@#$ iykwim she didn't know how quick she was gonna hafta change her attitude! now its too late! yeah i mean, that part she's used to! i think she preferred that to all the parched dying of thirst horse riding tbh! EVERYONE IS SO WOKE NOW! OHHHH TAKE HER ALIVE OOOHHHH!$@##@$@#$ ;fu; ITS BULLSHIT!~@#$ naw, pretty sure she mostly just dangles her legs from teh rafters. i think the author said something about how she turns him away most of the time. ;wub; ch51: even more dumbjimJfc even joe realizes july and Roscoe are dumbjims at this point!@# smh. July :ballhands:
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Post by isthisamo on Jul 24, 2023 14:33:47 GMT
can he whittle the doc 2 bits? i'm pretty sure roscoe ain't got that kinda skill. roscoe: i mostly jus whittle nuthin. man! it's like you lived back then with this crazy accurate doc knowledge!! whew indeed! and a dire situation indeed it was! :snooked: a differnt kinda a snooked, but snooked nonetheless. WE GOT SOME FINE COWHANDS! BUT WE GOT NOBODY THAT CAN BE AROUND A PRETTY LADY WITHOUT FALLIN IN LOVE! why here's one of 'em now. howdy dish! y don't u head off and do some herdin! i'm not sure i do! or want to! i tell you what. i mighta tasted that wormbutter, but not now! 🤢 it is? i imagine she checks out during all those townings and just dreams of san fransisco. who'd a thought an injun gang rape could be a welcome change of pace! i guess everyone in all times feels like times is a changin fer teh waerst. :dunno: that sounds right. she mostly just yells at him and dangles her legs. then does more yelling. man these olden times dude sure get smitten and then they can't do nothin else with their dumb ol brains!
Ch. 52: 33 minutes in to this huge chapter! more roscoe and janey times. some of my favorite times in this booko. man roscoe is useless. the fact that he lucked into a job was pretty amazing. tho it sounds like he wasn't paid much. but then july strolls in and actually finds some competence! don't know where that came from. also he's like GOD DAMN IT! NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THESE ASSHOLES!! FFS!@
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